F*** You!

Thank you for your support,

I do have a question. We have a 15 year old. There is a whole story behind this, but she is difficult to control. I am a pseudo step mom so it makes it worst. I've lived with my boyfriend for 4 years but we are not married, nor do we want to get married, we're fine with our relationship the way it is.

One of our problems is lately she has decided to leave obscene messages for me to find or whoever because she thinks we are reading her journal. This week she left a message stating F*** you in her bed and my house keeping found it and they were appalled. She is going to apologize to the house keeping, but I want her to understand the effect that type of language and obscenity has on people and how it hurts people. I wanted her to write a report on it and have her English teacher grade it. Do you have any other suggestions?

Thanks – T.


Hi T.,

Having her write a report will probably not hurt anything, but it will not help either. Having kids write reports is just another "traditional" parenting strategy that has little or no effect.

I would use the strategy "When You Want Something From Your Kid" (in the Anger Management chapter of the ebook, online version).

Stay in touch,

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