Thank you for your quick response. We have a situation in our home at the moment and my husband and I have differing views on consequences for an action.
Situation: One of our 17-year-old triplet girls is very social always on the go. Last weekend she was to sleep at a friend’s with 2 other girls. She called when she arrived to let us know she was there for the night.
Yesterday she admitted to us (because she thought we were going to receive a phone call) that they went back out to pick up a friend. When they arrived at the friend's house, kids started showing up with alcohol and "barged in." They had heard that the girl's mother was out of town.
I later found out from my daughter that they stayed for the party, and spent the night at this girl's house because they had to help her clean up.
I have told my daughter that I am disappointed in her judgment. She has compromised our trust in her. We have guidelines in our house that if they ever find themselves in such a situation they are to call us and we will come a get them, no questions and no punishment.
She lied to us, stayed somewhere with no parental supervision, and would have deceived us further by not telling us if her friends mom had not said she was calling.
I feel that her punishment be a longer-term punishment (i.e., earlier curfew, call when she gets to her destination, when she leaves etc.). A much closer eye on her to let her understand that she must earn our trust back. My husband feels she should have a consequence, but says she will be away next year at college and we won't know what she is doing. I want her to learn good judgment especially since she will be away.
I would love a 3rd person's opinion. She is really a good kid, honor roll, this is only the second time we have had a punishment issue with her. I don't know how much I don't know!
Several months ago, I received an email from a parent who had gone through the same experience. I’ll simply refer you to my response to this mother’s inquiry here: www.myoutofcontrolteen.com
The above is my ongoing recommendation for teens and ‘alcohol drinking episodes’.
Please stay in touch,
- ► 19 (105)
- ► 14 (62)
- ► 13 (52)
- ► 12 (57)
- ► 11 (108)
- ► 10 (145)
- ► 09 (149)
- ► 08 (393)
- 17 Year Old Daughter Living with 20 Year Old Boyfr...
- She lied to us...
- I feel betrayed...
- I'm a disabled parent...
- I am interested in a sample of what you claim does...
- Parents are having a hard time with "tough love"!
- Is there any chance I can turn this around?
- Learning Disabilities
- Do you have the same book in Spanish?
- What can we do in a school setting...?
- F*** You!
- I am falling apart on the inside for this kid...
- The problem just seems to get more and more compli...
- My mom calls me crying all the time about it...
- Do I call the cops?
- Can he just take her away or what?
- Do you think this program will help him?
- Please help.
- I have never paid for a support group...
- Drug/Alcohol Abuse in Adolescents
- She is hanging out with a really bad crowd...
- Stress-Relief for Stressed-Out Parents
- The program says 100% guaranteed to work.
- I was looking for some help with a girl I know...
- Our son is already willing to physically attack us...
- Our son is in a long-term mental health facility.
- How do I find the kind of help he needs?
- He chose to steal 2 games from the local Kmart...
- I could really use some help...
- Online Parent Support
- Online Parent Support
- How do I get him to talk more freely about these i...
- Does this happen to other moms as well?
- He throws a temper tantrum when he doesn't get his...
- I am at the end of my rope...
- She is completely out of control...
- He fights physically with other children...
- ▼ 1 (37)