HELP FOR PARENTS WITH STRONG-WILLED, OUT-OF-CONTROL CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS

Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD

Mom Gets Punked - Again!


Mark,

Today is the last (4th) day of M___'s discipline.

>>>>>>>> 3 days works best.

No going out, no cell phone, no computer, only 15 minutes of supervised "land line" phone. He had Lacrosse practice after school today.

>>>>>>>> Is lacrosse a right or a privilege? I think it could go either way. It could be viewed as ‘part of school’ …but at the same time, it really is a privilege (I’m sure the coach would agree). Thus, you could warn him that the next time he abuses “lacrosse privileges” by staying longer at school for additional extracurricular activities that were not part of the original agenda – he will be grounded FROM lacrosse (no more than 3 days though).

He did call and inform me (from a friend's phone by the way) the team was to look at "game tapes" (they have never done this before) after practice today and then he would stay at school to watch the "powder puff" girls football game. I explained to him that he was still grounded until tomorrow and could not stay for it. He did acknowledge this. He then called later and said that the varsity coach wanted to talk to him and a few of the other jv players about moving them up to varsity for playoffs.

>>>>>>>>> You’ve just been punked – again.

(The powder puff game started at 7pm.) He called again at 8pm to pick him up. I HIGHLY suspect him going to the girl’s game (it was half-time when I picked him up) but can't prove it. I can e-mail the lacrosse coach but won't get an answer until tomorrow but he is supposed to have his phone back in the morning before I can verify. How do you handle a situation like this? Do I let him have his privileges back since I can't prove it? Please advise!!

>>>>>>>>>> I would simply issue the warning that I mentioned above.


He is also lately telling me he is not doing his homework, "forgot" his backpack in a friend's car today, and is getting 3 D's (he has had 2 A's, 3 B's and one C all year). He says as long as his ACT is good (not taken yet) he doesn't care and will still be accepted to a good college. I can easily ask his counselor for a progress report. I kept my poker face when he told me this--do I let the cards fall as they may or do I check this out?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I assume you read the eBook in its entirety. If so, then you know my recommendation on this. You can review it here.

Once again, thanks for the advice. I am trying very hard to follow your plan.

>>>>>>>>> You are doing a great job. Keep it up.

Mark

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

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