ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Hi Mark, It has taken longer than necessary for me to complete this program, but I have finally done it! During these past few weeks, my husband and I have been implementing many steps, successfully. Our son, Daniel, has been completing his weekly chores with not much complaint. The times that he forgets, or for some reason doesn't complete the chores, we deduct from his allowance. There haven't been any big blow ups around here, and the few irritable times we've had have been much less stressful. Once school begins in a couple of weeks, we might have some tense times, but I do feel prepared for them now. Also, I re-took the quiz; the first time I scored in the 80s, today I scored a 56. I really do thank you very, very much. This is a great program and I will be re-reading it many times. I would love the certificate as well. I hope it's ok to email you from time to time to say hi and fill you in on our progress. Enjoy your summer S. Online...

Hi Mark, Your web site has given me and my partner a great deal of hope with our daughter. She is 12 but I can see already that with our "over parenting & over indulging" that it hasn't done Scarlett any favours at all. I thought that one of the key areas you wrote about was very interesting to me, was the topic that as parents you shouldn't feel guilty for trying your very best & to take time out to look after yourself. I constantly feel guilty for being a working mum etc etc.My mother was very strict and i was afraid that i was treating Scarlett the same as i was quiet frightened of her as a child and didn't want to make Scarls feel the same ever. I guess I have again over done the indulging side. A thing that makes me laugh to myself is that I teach in a further eduction college here in the UK and I can get my kids at work to literally eat out of my hand and are as good as gold. Even the ones it ADHD etc but my very own 12 year old girl well thats ano...

Dear Mark, I read with interest your parenting book, we are one of those parents that tried everything including the Beyond Parental Control juvenile help in Singapore. Our daughter has a history of running away as soon as she does not get her way, the last time for 25 days, with the threat of killing herself and or over dose on drugs. We finally put her in a very disciplined structured boarding school in Malaysia. It is her 16 th birthday on Saturday, and she needs permission to go out. As this is a privilege she has not earned, nor the trust, we refused the permission. The threats of running away and killing herself were howling in the phone. I am going thru your book, as to be ready for her first home leave, 2 weeks from now, and the problems are back, before we can implement anything. As soon as she gets a negative answer or a way to earn a privilege - she runs away, does not care if she has no bed, food, as long as she can decide herself how to spend her time. ...

"Hi Mark, I am so glad I found your web site, my husband and I have just started reading it and we are putting assignment 1 into place this week. I am actually a stepmother to my husband’s eldest boy (16yrs old) that we have been having terrible trouble with for many years but in the last 2 months things have become quite horrendous. To help you with the overall picture, his two brothers (12yrs & 15yrs) and himself live with us week about, 1 week with his mother and the other week with us and my 11yr daughter lives with us full time. He is a very bright boy, but school just didn’t interest him and was getting into trouble, didn’t want to go, wouldn’t do any work, unmotivated and incredibly addicted to computer games – exactly what you have outlined in the start of your web site, it explained so much. It’s the old scenario his Dad felt sorry for his kids after the divorce and indulged them way too much, but he did the best he could at the time. He has since left sch...

Thank you so much for that Mark. I understand. I’m definitely working the program, not jumping ahead, and believe me I know from experience there is no magic bullet. I’m into week 2 now and have read/watched both articles. But I do need clarification on how to proceed with this week’s assignments, if that’s ok: So do you mean you think I should just forget school issues and the moment and let them deal with it in order to just focus on the program at home? For example, before I started the program I had taken away my son’s computer game and nintendo privileges ‘until things improved at school’ (which I know is a bit vague). Should I therefore scrap that consequence in order to just focus on the saying yes/say no practice? Kind regards L. ````````````````` Hi L., Yes. Start with a clean slate. ONLY implement session #1 assignments during week #1 ...session #2 assignments during week #2 ...and so on. Mark Online Parent Support

Mark, Thanks. Any tips on getting my husband to support ANY consistent plan? He doesn't seem interested in any type of "plan". He just criticizes me when one or both of my daughters get in trouble. He's seldom at home. He rarely talks to them, except to criticize them, usually to me. I know it's important for him to be involved, but again, I can't force him either. I feel very frustrated. Also, I have told them to keep their facebooks clean. This is where I find out most of the stuff that they are doing. How should these websites be handled. I can't seem to block the site without blocking the whole internet. This is stuff that the "whole world" can see. I told them I don't want anything about drug use or foul language on them. How do I control this? The computer is in the kitchen, but their sites have passwords? M. ``````````````````````````````` We use PC Tattletale at our house. We can pretty much control everything with this ...

Dear Mark, I've been listening and reading the program for four weeks, and doing the assignments. I have two daughters 18 and 16. This has been the most trying summer of my life. My husband has not been involved for most of their lives, although we are together. I am left to do all the parenting myself. The biggest problem that we are having is trust. I have caught my older daughter smoking, drinking, taking drugs, sneaking out of the house, stealing and lying to cover it up. It has now affected my younger daughter, who has decided to "gang up" against me. My husband also blames me, and tells me to back off. Every time I do that, the same problems or others arise. I have issued the 3-day discipline, and the day it was lifted, there was another incident. This happened 3 times. My daughter was told no smoking. Is this something I can enforce? I told her I know that I can't stop her from smoking, but I can insist that it doesn't happen on my propert...

Parent's Question: "My daughter has become sexually active with 'her boyfriend'. She was sneaking out on the nights my husband works. We have had one pregnancy scare already. Do I - or do I not - put her on birth control? We are currently on Week 2 of your program." My Response: YES! Just do it. Wherever you stand on pre-marital sex, you need to address the reality of your daughter engaging in sexual activity and it's consequences. Be honest with your daughter starting first with the science of how the various forms of birth control work. Don't forget to address all those myths floating around. You want to make sure your daughter has heard it from you before she hears it in the locker room. She is more likely to value your advice if you offer it freely. It's okay to be uncomfortable. It's not okay to hide your head in the sand. Parents are often in denial …they may fervently want children to delay sexual activity, but if you know ...

Hi Mark Well our son turns 18 this week and worked 10 days this summer in a temporary position. He now is not working as he has money. He says he will find work soon but does not actually look, just talks about it. Of course we have told him come next month he is paying for his bills. This does not seem to jar him, in fact, the more we encourage (he calls it nagging) to get work, the more he pulls back (control). So, he will get money for his birthday (grandparents) and he says he will use this to pay us back and pay for his cell phone etc. Do you think this is acceptable as the money is a gift, intended for him to buy something for himself? I told him the bills he has should be paid with work money and not gift money. (We are not planning on giving him any unearned money). Please advise of your thoughts on this. PS Things are slowly getting better with the program. Thank-you. ~SS~ ````````````````` Hi S., Re: Do you think this is acceptable as the money is a gift, ...

Hello Mark, I recently started your online program and am so glad I found it! I have a question involving lying that cannot be proven. I am 99% sure my 14 yr old son did these things but I have no physical proof that he specifically is the one that did it. My husband says without that proof we cannot punish him. I disagree, but I am afraid it may cause him to resent me on that 1% chance he is not lying. Issue 1: porn downloaded on my computer during 1 hour while I was away. I have a spyware program that showed this, and he sa y s some app auto downloads stuff and he didn’t do it. Issue 2: 30 presc pills of mine are missing and he has been caught with other drugs/alcohol previously. Besides my husband and myself, the only person in the household is my 19 yr old daughter and we have no reason to believe she would have done either of these things as #1 she has her own computer, and #2 she has not had problems with this kind of thing, and #3 we can always tell if she lies and she says s...

Hi Mark, It's been awhile since I last wrote to you. Your help thus far has been wonderful and so appreciated. When Last I wrote, Our oldest son (P___ 21) was still living at home, and our younger son (J___ 16) was having school problems and more. P___ is now living in Flagstaff, working and taking college classes at Yavapai Community (on line) and a Summer Biology class at Coconino Community in Flag. He is planning to apply for the nursing program and getting his pre req classed done. J___ is doing better, but we have some hurdles yet to overcome. As last school year was drawing to a close, he was failing two classes. We had allowed him to get his drivers license but was only able to drive with us in the car as we were looking into insurance et. He was told that if he did not pass all classes, he would only be allowed to drive to and from work this Summer. He really did not believe us until the final two weeks of school and then kicked into gear and managed ...

Mark- I am on week 3, and have found your online counseling a huge help to our family and situation. I hope that if we follow this, that we will see improvements with our 7-year-old daughter that has gotten out of control at home. She has been diagnosed ADHD and ODD. Every doc has recommended medications for her. Mainly I am sure because of school and the fact that she does have problems with socialization at school. She is aggressive with kids, but a friendly aggressive like hugs and such. She has a heart of gold, and wants to do good, but she doesn’t have the tools she needs in order to be constructive. You mention that we as parents should 'discipline' and not 'punish'. I am wondering what is the difference between discipline vs punishing? What I mean is, what is considered discipline and what is considered punishing? Thank you, J. Click here for my response...

I first want to start out by saying THANK YOU. Although I have only completed the first weeks session I already feel like there is hope for our family. I have a 15 year old son (will turn 16 in one month) who was diagnosed with ADHD in first grade and diagnosed with Bipolar disorder in the 6th grade. Currently his ADHD is stable with Adderall and his bipolar is being treated with Abilify. I dont think the Abilify is the answer however. I have learned to cope with alot of his 'difficulties" but there are 2 problems that I would call a "emergency." I also have a 14 year our daughter who is a basket of nerves. My son and her HATE each other. He knows exactly how to push her buttons and she gets so upset she usually just explodes in anger followed by tears. When she is upset there is no reasoning with her until she calms down. I can almost see the "excitement" in my son’s eyes when he makes her cry. She is so vulnerable right now. He knows she is very a...

hi mark i didnt call the police until i would have another episode but i let this guy back into my house because he was staying with my sister and my daughter would keep going over there so i said he could come over …well my daughter and him got the impression that he is going to live here and after a few days i told him he has to go and he got all puffy, and my daughter got an attitude, but he told her he was going to leave in a couple of days …i told him there wasnt enough room here and i needed to get a handle on my daughter… He got pissed off and said i had more than him to worry about in my daughters life - that i should be concerned about who she would be with when he left and didnt give me a chance to talk to him before he took off…. Well the next day he was at my (supposed to be supportive sisters) and i dont know if he was there all night or not …she said they all showed up after she got out of court for being evicted, but a boy staying there said he was there when h...

Hi Mark, Thank you for your email. I am a parent of three children..however they are all grown up now. I could have done with your course some years ago! I bought your course because I am a counsellor and have recently started getting more calls from parents with difficult to manage teenage children. I think your course may help me with my work as it looks very well structured. I am looking forward to working with it. I hope you have no objection? I will let you know how I am getting on with it..if you are interested! Warm Regards J. `````````````````````````````` Hi J., Good for you! Many of the members of Online Parent Support are professionals (e.g., teachers, juvenile probation officers, therapists, social workers, etc.) needing assistance in this particular area (i.e., dealing with out-of-control children and adolescents). And please do let me know how things go. Thanks, Mark Online Parent Support

Hi Mark, I did what you said below and it worked. Afterwards he and I agreed that he could sleep over at Grandma's, when I went to class. He ran away again, once in June and once in July. Last weekend when he ran away, I went down to the police station and filed a runaway/missing person report. I told them that he usually ends up at Grandma's house, that he gets in my face, yells at me and pushes me around. The officer said that when they pick him up, they will call me and ask me if I want them to take him in. She didn't give me specifics as to if it was a hold cell, etc. My son is still living at Grandma's and has yet to be picked up. My son has a key to the back door. I have been blocking the door so he can't enter it as he would come in the house while I am at work for 'his stuff'. But I know that if he can't find something or anything that sets him off, he will break something. The last 2 months have been really hard. My son calls ...

Hi- My son constantly annoys his sister (2 yrs younger) and his brother (6yrs younger). We have two other children that he realizes his comments don't affect as much, so he does not aggravate them so much. I am worried about my daughter who is 9 1/2. She is so sensitive and cries daily at the insults that my son gives her. It often times leaves her screaming and calling him names which sometimes leads to a consequence for her for name calling. I try to have them work it out on their own, but this only leads to even bigger fights. I try to encourage them to work together and praise them on the very few times that they are getting along or at least not fighting. This does not seem to be helping. It is disrupting our entire family and I am afraid that it is breaking down my daughter's self esteem. Please help!!!! J., `````````````````````````````````` Hi J., I find that when parents continue to experience difficulties after 4 weeks, they have missed a couple important pieces. Let...