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Tired of arguing, nagging and struggling with your child to get him to do homework? Are you discovering that bribing, threatening, and punishing yield very few positive results? Here are 15 important tips that, if implemented in your home with consistency and an open heart, will reduce homework struggles significantly: 1. Allow kids to make choices about homework and related issues. They could choose to do study time before or after dinner. They could do it immediately after they get home or wake up early in the morning to do it. Invite them to choose the kitchen table or a spot in their own room. One choice kids do not have is whether or not to study. 2. Back up words with actions. Make it clear that choosing not to do study is choosing not to enjoy certain privileges. Say, “If you choose not to study, then you will choose not watch TV, listen to music or use the telephone. The choice is yours.” 3. Eliminate the word “homework” from your vocabulary. Replace it with th...

The following suggestions can make the process of divorce less painful for children, teenagers, and families. Honesty, sensitivity, self-control, and time itself will help the healing process. Be patient! Not everyone's timetable is the same. 1. Encourage children to openly discuss their feelings — positive or negative — about what's happening. It's important for divorcing — and already divorced — parents to sit down with their children and encourage them to say what they're thinking and feeling. But you'll need to keep this separate from your own feelings. Most often, kids experience a sense of loss of family and may blame you or the other parent — or both — for what is going on in their lives. So, you'll really need to be prepared to answer questions your children might raise or to address their concerns. Make talking about the divorce and how it's affecting your children an ongoing process. As children get older and become more mature, they...

Moms and dads expect temper tantrums from a 2-year-old, but angry outbursts don't necessarily stop after the toddler years. Older children sometimes have trouble handling anger and frustration, too. Some children only lose their cool on occasion, but others seem to have a harder time when things don't go their way. Children who tend to have strong reactions by nature will need more help from moms and dads to manage their tempers. Here are 20 "temper-taming tips” for the "strong-willed" child: 1. By the time you arrive at the scene of the fight, you may be at the end of your own rope. After all, the sound of screaming is upsetting, and you may be frustrated that your children aren't sharing or trying to get along. (And you know that this toy they're fighting over is going to be lost, broken, or ignored before long anyway!). In these situations, the best thing to do is for you to maintain your own self-control intact. Teaching by example is your...

Parents are naturally a bit anxious when first leaving children without supervision, but you can feel prepared and confident with some planning and a couple of trial runs. Handled well, staying home alone can be a positive experience for children, helping them gain a sense of independence and confidence. It's obvious that a 4-year-old can't go it alone, but that a 15-year-old probably can. But what should you do about those school-aged children in between? It can be difficult to know when children are ready to handle being home alone. Ultimately, it comes down to your judgment about what your youngster is ready for. You'll want to know how your youngster feels about the idea, of course. But children often insist that they'll be fine long before moms and dads feel comfortable with it. And then there are older children who seem afraid even when you're pretty confident that they'd be just fine. So how do you know? In general, it's not a good i...

Your toddler tests your nerves because he is testing boundaries all around him. Every day, little by little, he is mastering new abilities and accomplishing new feats, and is anxious and excited to use these skills. Sometimes it's tough to reel in a toddler, but it can be done. And setting rules and limits now — when your youngster is learning what behaviors are acceptable — will help prevent bigger problems down the road. Here are some ways to help you keep your youngster on the right track: 1. If your roving toddler does head toward an unacceptable or dangerous play object, calmly say "No" and either remove your youngster from the area or distract her with another activity. It's important to not spank, hit, or slap your youngster. At this age, children are unlikely to be able to make a connection between the behavior and physical punishment. The message you send when you spank is that it's OK to hit someone when you're angry. The American Academy ...

"I need advice on what to do with my son who has been diagnosed with oppositional disorder!" OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANT DISORDER (ODD) is defined as a recurrent pattern of negativistic, defiant, disobedient, and hostile behavior toward authority figures that persists for at least 6 months. Behaviors included in the definition include the following: • actively defying requests • arguing with grown-ups • being resentful, spiteful, or vindictive • being touchy, easily annoyed or angered • blaming others for one's own mistakes or misbehavior • deliberately annoying other people • losing one's temper • refusing to follow rules OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANT DISORDER is usually diagnosed when a youngster has a persistent or consistent pattern of disobedience and hostility toward moms and dads, educators, or other grown-ups. The primary behavioral difficulty is the consistent pattern of refusing to follow commands or requests by grown-ups. Kids with OPPOSITIONAL DE...

As a mother or father, how can you support a daughter who has been raped? Here are some important tips you'll need to help your youngster: It can be hard to help a daughter who's keeping a secret from you. Pre-adolescents and adolescents often turn to their peers to discuss deeply personal issues — and, unfortunately, something as serious as rape is no exception. Perhaps your daughter fears you will get angry, thinking she "brought it on" in some way; perhaps you don't openly discuss sexual issues and she would feel uncomfortable telling you. Whatever the reason, reaching out to your daughter — and keeping the lines of communication open — are crucial to your relationship. Let your youngster know, often, that you're there to listen and want to know if anyone ever harms her. Someone who's been raped might feel angered, frightened, numb, degraded, or confused. It's also normal to feel ashamed or embarrassed. Some people withdraw from fr...