ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Dear Mr. Hutten, I am beginning session 3 of your program tomorrow. I am however very bothered by my 15 year old coming home and telling me that she is bi. I have always raised her Christian and she knows that I don't approve of this kind of behavior. She announced to me also that she is now atheist. She is also involved in the goth look. I was reading your sample contract and it states that I will accept her individuality. Please tell me that this is a behavior issue and not an individuality issue. Remember she wants me to accept her "girlfriend" coming over to visit and to allow her to meet up with her. I told her that I accept her as bi, but I will certainly pray for her. This and the atheist and goth behavior makes me crawl inside. Please, is this a behavior issue where I can say no and set consequences for, or do I still have to just accept it? Remember she’s only 15. Very Saddened Mom, V. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hi V., First and forem...

"My son has Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD. Should I give his teacher (tutor) some strategies to deal with him in the classroom during summer school (starts on Mon.)? If so, what can I tell her?" Click here for the answer... ==> My Out-of-Control Child: Help for Parents with ODD Children

Defiant kids are often upset, frustrated, looking to externalize blame and operating under the assumption that they are equal in authority and wisdom to grown-ups. This results in being upset in their interaction with their peers and with anybody in authority like the poor long suffering mother/father. When grown-ups resort to spanking, oppositional kids are often able to manipulate the situation and turn the focus on the moms and dads' behavior. Oppositional kids are commonly also labeled as explosive as strong-willed. Most moms and dads of oppositional kids are afraid to set definite and definitive limits, and chaos results. Underlying influences driving oppositional behavior may be feelings of inadequacy due to concerns such as: peer rejection, conflict with moms and dads, past traumas, body image concerns and sibling conflicts. The perception is that oppositional behavior is cool. All kids display oppositional behavior from time to time, but it's possible that your...

There are usually as many discipline techniques as there are moms and dads. Correction methods for kids concerning misbehavior, offensive comments, and family rule infractions usually range between physical-abuse to no parental involvement. Each parent has his or her own style, methods, and attitudes about discipline. Imagine videotaping moms and dads as they communicate with their kids throughout the week. Reviewing all of the tapes, we may find a number of parenting behaviors and discipline styles. Some of those discipline techniques might include: Assigning time-outs or isolating the youth in their room Calling the youngster names or making derogatory comments Demanding information about the misbehavior – "Why did you hit Tommy?" Fortune telling – "You're going to end up in prison if you keep acting this way!" Grounding the youngster Humiliating the youngster in front of other kids Ignoring all misbehavior that is not life-threatening I...

Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is defined by therapists as a cluster of behaviors that include many or all of the following characteristics: Accusatory Aggressive Angry Argumentative Bad temper Blaming Defiant Foul-mouthed Hostile Low frustration level Negative Oppositional Pessimistic Resentful Spiteful Unreasonable How can a mother or father know if a teen is simply dealing with the pains of becoming an adult or has a significant conduct problem that will require therapeutic intervention? If this pattern of behavior is becoming the typical emotional state of your adolescent, he or she might have ODD. ODD can disturb home and family life, other relationships, and school efficiency. This is often a particularly frustrating disorder, since your teen usually believes he or she has just cause to be so indignant. The youngster may fault moms and dads, friends, educators, or other authority figures for the behavior, declaring others are unreasonable, bother...

Research demonstrates that teens require 8½ to more than 9 hours of rest a night. You do not need to be a math expert to figure out that if you wake up for school at 6:00 AM, you would have to go to sleep at 9:00 PM to attain the 9-hour mark. Scientific studies have discovered that many teens have difficulty falling asleep that early, though. It's not due to the fact they don't want to snooze. It is due to the fact their brains normally work on later schedules and aren't ready for bed. Many teens have sleep problems. Examples include: Difficulty falling asleep Feeling sleepy during the day Frequent awakening during the night Having nightmares Talking during sleep Teeth grinding and clenching Waking early Symptoms of insufficient quality sleep: Apparent defiance and belligerence possibly alternating with withdrawal Edginess Irritability Problems with concentration and sometimes with memory Sometimes behavioral, learning or social problems...

Mothers and fathers are troubled once they get a note from school stating that their youngster won't pay attention to the teacher or causes problems in class. One possible reason behind this sort of behavior is ADHD.  Even though the youngster with ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER (ADHD) often wants to be a good student, the impulsive behavior and difficulty paying attention in class frequently interferes and causes problems. Educators, parents, and friends know that the youngster is misbehaving or different but they may not be able to tell exactly what is wrong. Any youngster may show poor attention, distractibility, impulsivity, or hyperactivity sometimes, however the youngster with ATTENTION DEFICIT/HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER shows these symptoms and behaviors more frequently and severely than other kids of the same age or developmental level. ADHD occurs in 3-5% of school age kids. ADHD must begin before the age of seven and it can continue into adulthood. ADHD ...