ONLINE PARENTING COACH

“My main problem is my son’s vulgar language. He is constantly using foul language on a daily basis usually with no rhyme or reason. He just yells out a long string of bad language for no reason. He is also very open about sex. He talks about it a lot and constantly makes ‘sexual noises’.” Adolescents equate swearing to a rite of passage. As moms and dads, we can help them learn healthier ways of expressing and developing maturity. The first step to cleaning up adolescent talk is listening to your adolescent. When you ascertain in what scenarios and environments he typically swears, you can help him find alternatives to express himself. Does your son try to project confidence or superiority when he swears? Does he demonstrate anguish, disgust or disdain in himself or peers with cursing? Do you hear your son causally and subconsciously dropping profanities intermittently throughout casual conversations? Knowing the prime times your son swears will help you choose a course of acti...

Question: “I have a 14 year our daughter who is a basket of nerves. My son and she HATE each other. He knows exactly how to push her buttons and she gets so upset she usually just explodes in anger followed by tears. When she is upset there is no reasoning with her until she calms down. I can almost see the ‘excitement’ in my son’s eyes when he makes her cry. She is so vulnerable right now. He knows she is very aware of her figure and looks, so he is constantly calling her fat (although she is not fat at all). She then comes back at him with retard and why don’t we ‘send him away’. I fear what this is doing to her self-esteem and emotional needs.” Answer: Fighting among siblings is really a problem now with the kids being off school for this extended period of time due to the coronavirus issue. Moms of adolescents may be troubled by the amount of fighting, both verbal and physical, that is going on. This is a common problem in homes with teens, and one many moms find particular...

Is your teenager acting-out in difficult ways? Are you at your wit's end?! Parenting strong-willed, out-of-control adolescents is tough work. It takes creativity, determination, and patience! It's an extremely difficult phase to go through, but you’re not alone. For too many moms and dads, major conflict is an everyday occurrence. When this is the case, the teen usually has a diagnosis of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), or at the very least exhibits many ODD traits. Parents can either choose to continue "business as usual" (which will only enrage and distance their teen further), or they can learn how to deal constructively with strong-willed behavior. Here’s how… How to cope with strong-willed, out-of-control teens: 1. Often times, your best resource is silence (it really is golden in cases such as this). Strong-willed teens do not listen to reason. They can't (and even if they could, they wouldn't). When your teen tries to push your buttons –...

Alternative Disciplinary Strategies for Parents of Strong-Willed, Defiant Teenagers When Parenting Feels Impossible: A Story Too Familiar It’s 9:30 on a Tuesday night. You’ve just finished a long day at work. The dishes are stacked in the sink, laundry is waiting, and all you want is a few minutes of peace before bed. But instead, you’re standing in the hallway, arguing with your fifteen-year-old about why he can’t stay up gaming until 2 a.m. again. Your voice gets louder, his eyes roll harder, and suddenly you’re in a shouting match you never intended to have. Doors slam. You feel angry, guilty, and exhausted. And the question haunts you: How did my sweet child turn into this defiant, impossible teenager? If that sounds familiar, you are not alone. Thousands of parents visit my program every year because they’ve hit this exact wall. They’ve tried punishment, grounding, yelling, even bargaining — and nothing seems to work. Many confess they feel like they’ve lost control of their ho...

Personal Mark was born in Freemont, Ohio in 1956. He graduated from Anderson High School (Anderson, IN) in 1974. Educational Bachelors Degree; Psychology -- Anderson University, Anderson, IN Masters Degree; Counseling Psychology -- Vermont College of Norwich University, Montpelier, VT Employment Madison County Juvenile Probation: SHOCAP Program Madison County Community Justice Center Madison County Correctional Complex Sowers of Seeds Counseling Indiana Juvenile Justice Task Force Accomplishments Mark is the creator of the Parent-Support Group (a parents only group for parents with strong-willed, out of control children). He is the author of My Out-of-Control Teen and My Out-of-Control Child eBooks, and the founder of Online Parent Support (the online version of the Parent Support Group). Many of Mark's articles and columns related to parenting children with ADHD, ODD, Conduct Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Asperger’s Syndrome, Autism, Reactive Attachment ...

Emails from parents: "I just wanted to say a BIG Thank You for your work! I think, I mean I KNOW that your e-books and website are the most informative I have ever seen. And I have looked everywhere, read everything, tried it all! Thank you!" - D.G. “Your ebook is very thorough and has helped me and my family immensely. My husband and I have a better understanding now!  Since completing the program, my son Jonathon has brought his grades up 35%, and he is getting praise from his teachers. The Assistant Principal wrote a letter describing improvements in Jonathan’s behavior and gave it to me at the parent-teacher conference.” - T.S. “We thank everyone involved with this program.  We are using the techniques we have learned on ALL of our children, not just the one we were having trouble with.” - A.J. “I found your book very helpful, even though our child was already in placement at a juvenile facility.  Wish we had taken this course years ago.” - T.P. "I looked forward to...

FAQ: 1. What types of behavior problems are covered in the program? Mark: “The Online Parent Support® (OPS) program will help you deal with most of the negative behaviors children and adolescents exhibit. I focus primarily on the behaviors that prevent a child from getting along with parents, teachers, siblings, etc., as well as those behaviors that may damage the child's future, mental health, and/or physical health. For example: ·        Acting-out sexually ·        Anger-control problems ·        Annoying siblings, classmates, etc. ·        Arguing with adults and other authority figures ·        Behavior problems at school ·        Blaming others for mistakes and misbehavior ·        Cigarette smoking ·    ...

Many families of defiant teens live in a home that has become a battleground. In the beginning, the daily struggles can be expected. After all, we knew that problems would occur because teens are naturally rebellious, to a degree. Initially, stress can be so subtle that we lose sight of a war, which others do not realize is occurring.    We honestly believe that we can work through the problems. Outbursts, rages, and strife become a way of life (an emotionally unhealthy way of life). We set aside our own needs and focus on the needs of our teenager. But what does it cost us? There is a significant difference between normal teenage rebellion versus defiance : Defiant teens are destructive and disagreeable by nature They like to push their parents' anger-buttons Every request results in a power struggle Lying is a daily habit, and stealing is a favorite hobby Getting others to react strongly pleases and amuses them They blame others for their mistakes and misbehavior ...

Below is a partial list of typical parenting strategies . Parents have found these strategies to have little or no effect on their out-of-control child's behavior: Trying to "reason" with the child Having "heart-to-heart" talks Confrontation or being "assertive" Grounding Taking away privileges Time-outs Counseling Having the child go live with his/her other parent (if parents are separated or divorced) Trying to be a nicer parent Trying to be a tougher parent Having another family member "talk" to the child (e.g., aunt or uncle)   "Giving in" and letting the child have her/his way Verbal warnings Ignoring misbehavior Medication Threatening to call the police Calling the police and so on... Your out of control children will NEVER work for what YOU want.  But will they work for what THEY want? I'll show you how this works in my eBook. Return to main page...

"I've tried everything -- counseling, taking away privileges, grounding -- and nothing works with this child!" When parents have finally had enough disrespect and behavior problems with their child, they come to my office to file an incorrigibility charge   (i.e., a legal complaint due to the child being unruly and delinquent in the home). At this point I ask the parent, "Would you be willing to try something else first before we consider filing the charge."  And most parents agree they would rather not involve their child in the "juvenile justice system" unless they absolutely have to. So I get the parent involved in my parent-program called Parent-Teen Support Group . In this group, which meets 90 minutes each session for 4 sessions, we look at a set of highly effective unconventional parenting strategies to use with their strong-willed, out-of-control unconventional child . I follow up with these parents weeks and months after they com...

What to do when your child: Abuses alcohol Abuses drugs Applies guilt trips Applies insults Argues with adults Believes the rules don't apply to him/her Blames others for his/her behavior Blames others for his/her problems Calls you terrible names (e.g., "f___ing bitch") Deliberately annoys people Destroys property in the house Does not feel responsible for his/her actions Does not take “no” for an answer Engages in self-injury or cutting Feels entitled to privileges Gets caught shoplifting Gets into trouble with the law Gets suspended or expelled from school Has a learning disability (e.g., ADHD) Has an eating disorder Has been sexually abused Has frequent anger outbursts Has problems with authority figures Has problems with siblings Is a bully at school or in the neighborhood Is depressed Is failing academically Is getting into trouble on the Internet Is grieving the loss of a family member or friend Is hanging with the wrong crowd Is hav...

Throughout adolescence, your teenager will be confronted with many difficult circumstances where choosing to make a safe and healthy choice may not be the easiest or most obvious thing to do. Peer-pressure may factor heavily into the choice-making process regarding numerous serious issues (e.g., drinking alcohol at parties, trying drugs, having sex, joining gangs, etc.). It’s normal for adolescents to challenge their moms and dads' values and beliefs as a way to “test the system” and seek autonomy. Adolescents need support and “guidance” from their moms and dads to make important choices about their future. However, the more “controlling” you are, the more rebellious your adolescent is likely to become. As a mother or father, being present to protect your adolescent from circumstances that could potentially hurt him will always be an intense urge that often can’t be realistically fulfilled. As your teenager grows older, parenting becomes less about control and more abo...

Disagreements are to be expected as part of family life, and these can start to happen more frequently as your youngster enters his adolescent years. Sometimes disagreements will turn into blazing rows, with your adolescent insulting you or cussing. This can be hurtful and disappointing, leaving you asking yourself how things ended up this way, or what you could have done differently. A certain level of moodiness and irritability is to be expected from adolescents, but it’s important for parents to maintain disciplinary boundaries. It’s NEVER acceptable for an adolescent to become aggressive and physically hurt the parent. If violence against parents goes unchecked, it sends the message to the adolescent that violence is a way to get what you want in life. If violent behavior gets rewarded (due to the fact the there was no significant consequence for it), the adolescent will likely be violent toward others down the road. But unfortunately, other people will not be as accepting o...