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As kids enter the teenage years, they often beg for more freedom. Moms and dads walk a tightrope between (a) wanting their kids to be confident and able to do things for themselves and (b) knowing that the world can be a scary place with threats to their kid’s health and safety. Some moms and dads allow too much of the wrong kind of freedom, or they offer freedom before the teen is ready to accept it. Other moms and dads cling too tightly, denying young adolescents both the responsibilities they require to develop maturity and the opportunities they need to make choices and accept their consequences. Research tells us that teenagers do best when they remain closely connected to their moms and dads, but at the same time, are allowed to have their own points of view – and even to disagree with their mother or father. Here are 10 crucial parenting tips to help you balance closeness and independence: 1. Teenagers look to their moms and dads first and foremost in shaping their ...

"My teenage daughter has stopped talking to us. She just shuts us out. What can I do to get her to open up?" Teenagers often aren't great communicators, particularly with their moms and dads and other grown-ups who love them. Adolescents often feel they can talk with anyone better than their mother or father. They tend to be private, and don't necessarily want to tell parents what they did at school today. Many psychologists have found, however, that when moms and dads know where their kids are and what they are doing (and when the teen knows the parent knows), teens are at a lower risk for a range of problems (e.g., drug, alcohol and tobacco use; sexual behavior and pregnancy; delinquency and violence, etc.). The key is to be inquisitive – but not interfering. Work to respect your youngster's privacy as you establish trust and closeness. It's easiest to communicate with an adolescent if you established this habit when your youngster was little. You don...

Moms and dads often become less involved in the lives of their kids as they enter the middle grades. But your child needs as much attention and love from you as she needed when she was younger—and maybe more.    A good relationship with parents is the best safeguard the youngster has as she grows and explores. By the time she reaches the teenage years, you and she will have had years of experience with each other. The mother or father of today's little girl is also the parent to tomorrow's teen. Your relationship with your youngster will almost certainly change after elementary school. In fact, most parents report that their child's behavior changed drastically (for the worse) once he or she entered the 7th grade. But, these changes can be rewarding and welcome if treated appropriately.    ==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents with Difficult Preteens and Teens   As your middle school youngster makes mental and emotional leaps, your conversations...

Throughout our lives we grow and change, but during the preteen years, the rate of change is especially evident. We consider 11-year-olds to be kids, but we think of 16-year-olds as "almost adults" – a huge leap that happens in the space of only 5 years. We welcome the changes, but we also find them a bit challenging. When kids are younger, it is easier to predict when a change might take place and how rapidly. But by the preteen years, the relationship between a youngster’s real age and his developmental milestones grows weaker. Just how preteens develop can be influenced by many things (e.g., genes, families, friends, neighborhoods, values, etc.). Cognitive Changes— The cognitive or mental changes that take place in the preteen years may be less easy to see, but they can be just as dramatic as physical and emotional changes. During adolescence, most teenagers make large leaps in the way they think and reason and learn. Younger kids need to see and touch things to b...