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Mark: I am in Week 2 and I am already seeing improvements in my daughter! We have a long way to go, but she didn’t get this out of control overnight. So I have a question ...my daughter just came home with 100% + bonus points on a Social Studies test that she normally wouldn’t have studied for and would have probably gotten a C or D. Molly is almost 14 and in 8th grade. She calls to tell me the good news and then asks me what her reward will be. I was not sure how to answer that. I told her she should just be happy with her performance (which she is), but she still keeps pushing for a reward. Should I give her something? She proposed we eat out at her favorite restaurant. I didn’t want to make the reward food, since she is overweight already. You advice is appreciated. Thanks! J. ````````````````````````````````````````` Hi J., Typically we neither reward good grades nor punish bad grades. Why? Because a built-in reward/consequence system is alr...

Hi K., == > I’ve responded throughout your email below: Hi Mark, I love your program and have started using it on my 2 boys aged 5 and 8. I have learnt that I am a severely overindulgent mother, a bit of a shock to the system. I have started the poker face and staying extremely calm, a thing I use to do and yes back then my children where well behaved. LOL My 8 yr old son is a gifted child. I have problems with his inability to accept that others cant do things the way he can. He constantly puts down his little brother, is rude to others, defiant and extremely competitive. I believe that this shows low self-esteem. I have started the chores with lots of refusal, so he has lost the things he loves. Yes things have got a lot worse, as you mentioned they could but now he is crying and all emotional when things go wrong, instead of blaming others and abusing people. I wonder is this a new way of trying to get me to back off and change my mind.??????? == > Parti...

Hi Mark Just an update on what is going on with my son C__. C__ is on drugs and a friend of his mother signed for a lease on a townhouse for him to move out. It is party central there. C__ phoned me at work the other day and told me that he is scared that he is not feel well at all. A lady he works with took him aside and told him she has a concern for his health that maybe he is diabetic. He is living on energy drinks 2 -3 at a time. He asked me to get him some food that he should be eating, and he would pay me for it. He works at a grocery store, but hey I thought it was a way to talk to him for a minute or 2. I told him I was going for grocery and I would be away the rest of the weekend so I would bring over some groceries. I got to his townhouse, the one girl that lives there answered the door and looked at me funny, I know something was up. She went downstairs and got C__ to come up and he was higher then a kite. I said are you stoned and he said what do you expe...

Dear Mark, I have listened and reviewed your CD and book and have found them very helpful. My daughter seems to be doing better, but just yesterday my sister told me that she is doing things that I know nothing about when she's not home. Last year was a nightmare year for us with constant fighting, door slamming, tantrums, etc. This year she seemed to be settling down some, but what my sister told me concerns me greatly. Shoplifting, drug use, sex and God knows what else. My daughter is in ninth grade and is fourteen years old. I am very concerned with her choices. She is seeing a counselor one a month for what is diagnosed as anxiety disorder. Can you give me some help or advice? I am angry, disappointed, and ashamed. I don't quite know where to go from here. D., ``````````````````````````````````` Hi D., First of all, it doesn't sound like you have hard evidence that what your sister said is true. Avoid believing everything your hear -- even from a t...

Mark- We have a sixteen year old son that fits the criteria for ODD. We have two other sons fourteen and twelve that show no signs of this disorder. We have sought professional help on and off since he was two. The first I heard of this disorder was a year ago when I started researching on the internet for the problems we were having in parenting a child like this. The difference in how we want to parent our son has caused a major problem in our marriage. Dealing with a child with this disorder has to be about the hardest thing I have ever encountered. I am very willing to listen to a professional or follow a program such as your own because all I have read about this disorder as well as your program and advice from the last psychologist we went to points us in the same direction. We have improved our relationship with our son by using similar tactics like your program suggests, but unfortunately my husband has a hard time withholding privileges, setting up some solid rules, and ...

"How can I get my teen daughter to eat dinner with us - at least occasionally. She either refuses to eat, or eats in her bedroom?" Getting your adolescent to sit down to a regular meal with the family might be a little like lassoing Jell-O, but a new study suggests bringing adolescents to the table has the power to help them resist drugs and alcohol, feel better about themselves and even get better grades. Those are just some of the findings from Project EAT, a study of the eating habits and health of 4,746 middle and high school students conducted at the University of Minnesota's School of Public Health. "Family mealtime appears to have so many benefits," says Dianne Neumark-Sztainer, lead investigator of Project EAT and author of "I'm, Like, So Fat: Helping Your Adolescent Make Healthy Choices About Eating and Exercise in a Weight-Obsessed World" (Guilford Press, 2005). "It lets kids watch their parents be role models for healthy ...

Mark- Thank you so much for your program and your willingness to make this available to us via e-book. While I have just purchased your program and an only in Assignment 1, I feel that this is our answer to a growing problem with our child. My son is 12 years old. He has been a handful since birth. I realize now that I am a 100% passive parent. I have over-indulged him out of guilt for, as his mother, working outside of the home all his life. I have always felt this was a mistake and gave him stuff and freedom to compensate. As a result, my son is defiant, disrepectful and has been suspended twice from school so far this semester. I am so thankful that your help has come along before he gets any older. I have one major concern to address immediately. My son has had a fascination with fire, fireworks, and blowing things up for about a year. I realize some of this is normal but now his interest has resulted in damage to our home. Four days ago, he damaged the front of our gara...

Mark- Thank you for such a great website. It really helps to have this support. I started applying your advice 3 days ago as I believe my son has ODD, and yes, it did get worse at first… I went through two days of hell while my 13 year old son punched, insulted and swore at me and his younger brother continuously- (his older sister keeps out of his way). I kept calm and did not show my anger and today he woke up in a good mood ...the first time in a many months. He was much calmer and only has had one outburst. So I am continuing with the program and I know I have along way to go. He has been home from school for 3 weeks as he got beaten up by boys from his previous school and now says he hates school so I am trying to work with school, doctor and education authorities to get him back. (I live in England and the system is different here). He is very bright but hates the school environment. I am a part-time college teacher myself and would like your opinion about whether ...

HI Mark - we have finished the course and I must say a BIG thank you! It is working....doesn't always go smoothly but has been really helpful for us and I am very grateful. Now I have another issue that doesn't seem to really be addressed within your course. I have two boys - 16 (Junior) and 13 (8th grade). They are at each other constantly - picking verbally away until it escalates into an argument with shouting and yelling. The younger one knows how to goat the older one. Of course, they each think we take the others side and treat them differently. Here is my question.....I'm upstairs - they are downstairs - I hear the argument beginning and by the time I get downstairs they are yelling at each other and shoving (of course the other one started it and swore or pushed me or something - and of course they both deny it ). I didn't hear nor see what just happened and I don't know who is telling the truth. If I say "just stop fighting and one ...

"I have an 8-year-old daughter who said that she needs attention. She is the only child and I think she is getting 110%. How can I positively help her?" It's normal for kids to need attention and approval. However, attention-seeking becomes a problem when it happens all the time. Even charming attention-seeking can become controlling. Many kids make tragedies out of trivial concerns to get your sympathy. Excessive attention-seeking results in a situation where your youngster commands your life. Many kids misbehave to get attention. The most notorious reason for misbehavior in young kids, this can be the seed for discipline problems in later childhood and adolescence. Your goal is not to eliminate your youngster's need for attention and approval. When handled correctly, your youngster's need for attention can be a helpful tool for improving your youngster's behavior. Eliminate not the need for attention, but those attention- seeking behaviors that...

Hi Mark, I downloaded your course some time ago, to help me with my counselling work with teenagers. There was one young lady of 15 years that I had been working with, who was the 'gang leader', drinking, spending the night with lads not coming home on time, driving her parents insane etc. etc, (actually there have been a few of these cases!) who is now behaving much, much better. The family are agreed that things are 90 percent better than before and the young lady decided that: "It don't get better than that!" She doesn't want to be too goody goody because that means she's 'boring' and 'uncool.' She's doing great, going to school (although reserves the right not to work hard if she doesn't want to!) and coming in at a reasonable hour. No more gangs and much less drinking. Your course was extremely helpful Mark. I had been working with the same sort of strategies as you, but your course helped a lot bec...

Hi Mark, I've just downloaded your book and have already begun to feel a better understanding of what's happening in our home. In August we moved our family of 2 teenage girls (15 and 16) away from our home in Canada to Europe. Our 16 year old has taken to the move like a duck to water, but our 15 year old is really struggling. About 10 months ago she started hanging out with a bad crowd and 'fell in love' with a bad boy (school drop out, problems with the police, bad home situation). Her behaviour has gone downhill - swearing at me and disrespectful, school marks dropping drastically, dropping out of all her activities. We thought the move to Europe would be a chance for her to 're-set' and get back on a good path, but she is SO angry with me. She won't spend time with us, tells me she hates me and I'm stupid, and won't even look at my husband. Reading your book I recognize that my behaviour has contributed alot to getting her where she is (way...

Dear Mark. I am a trainer for foster carers in Royal Kingston-Upon-Thames, UK. As a social worker, I have worked for years with families and foster families trying to manage their out of control teens. I bought this book to share with foster carers and I'll also purchase the CDs to lend out to foster carers. Who knows --- I might still find some tips to use on my grown up children when they offend me!! I love my eldest grandson (16) to bits but he has ADHD and I know how my daughter struggles with his behaviour. This book could help her too. Could you confirm that it is acceptable under your copyright for me to share with others? Many thanks J. `````````````````````````` Hi J., Re: Could you confirm that it is acceptable under your copyright for me to share with others? Yes ...absolutely! Good luck, Mark Online Parent Support

Hello, before I waste anymore time I thought I'd cut straight to the point and just ask if you cover teens loving in split homes with step-parents. My step-teenager lives one week with her Dad and I, and one week with her mother (and boyfriend). Issues seem to come from the fact that she all of a sudden hates me, even though I've been around for 8 years and she's 15. Do you cover anything like that because every book. Other therapist try to treat me like I'm a "parent" when she does not see me that way, so none of the tactics work. Just curious, as this teen is destroying my marriage and seems to be enjoying herself while she is doing it. Thanks for your time. Sincerely, B. `````````````````````````````````````````` Hi B., I can promise you that you will benefit from my program. You are more of a mentor than a mother. You are an adult male in your stepdaughter’s life, much like an aunt, a scout leader or a teacher, but you live under the...

I have a six-year-old very strong willed youngster. She can be so sweet… then she starts grabbing toys out kid’s hands, hitting and kicking. I have her on a chart, and she is doing better. However, she still has problems sharing and getting along with others. ``````````````````````````````` Perhaps one of the most common complaints that parents have about their young kids is that they find it difficult to get them to share. Sharing is not something that is innate in a youngster and they will only learn it through your constant observation and guidance. Further more, there is a whole lot of concern about just what a youngster needs to learn how to share and when. Do they always need to share? You can help your youngster learn how to be more discerning with the sharing game if you just pay very close attention and follow some simple concepts. DON'T EVER FORCE YOUR YOUNGSTER TO SHARE. The whole point of the exercise is lost if you have to force it. This means, don’t threaten them in a...