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Raising adolescents is challenging, and naturally so. As they become increasingly autonomous, so too can they become somewhat more oppositional. However, dealing with adolescent defiance can be even more challenging for single mothers. The most difficult situation with defiance may be the following scenario: a single mom with a male adolescent - especially if she has more than one adolescent male and there aren’t any father-figures around!!! Some single parent statistics show the prevalence and challenges of single parenting in America: 23% of teens live with only a mother, 4% live with only a father, and 4% live with neither parent. 3% live with unmarried parents. About 40% of teenagers are born to unmarried mothers. Black teenagers are the most likely to be raised by a single mother, followed by Hispanic, then white teenagers. Teenagers living with only one parent have financial and educational disadvantages compared to teenagers with both parents, especially if their pare...

“My 17-year-old son thinks that just because it’s Christmas break he can come and go as he pleases and stay out as late as he wants. Any thoughts on how I can get him to comply with his curfew (which is 11:30 P.M.)?” Setting a curfew for an adolescent is one of those things that must be done carefully and enforced completely from the beginning. Being allowed to roam around with buddies is most definitely a privilege, and chances are if moms and dads aren’t remaining aware and informed at all times, their adolescent will get into some sort of trouble eventually. Parents would do well to set early curfews in the beginning. Having younger teens come home around 9:00 P.M. ensures that they are given freedom, but are also expected to be home at a reasonable hour. This not only allows you to get your rest, but also allows them to display their trustworthiness. As time progresses and your adolescent has adhered to curfews, you can begin to push it back by 30 minute increments. When...

We want our kids to develop respect for others. We want them to be honest, cooperative and responsible. The payoffs for encouraging a youngster to show respect are huge. Below are some tips for promoting a respectful attitude in your child (some of these tips may seem obvious – others may not): 1. Respect for money: Giving your youngster an allowance is a good way to help him respect and understand the value of money. But you must decide how much the allowance will be, taking into account your resources, your youngster's age, and what expenses the allowance will cover (e.g., lunches, clothes, church donations, entertainment, etc.). An allowance can help your child learn how to save and use money wisely. 2. Respect for sacrifice: If a youngster sees her mom and dad making sacrifices (e.g., "We're buying a used car so that we can save more money for a trip to Disneyland"), she picks up the cues. 3. Respect for sportsmanship: If you accept a loss on the basket...

Having motivation is synonymous with having a love for learning and challenge. Motivation is often more important than initial ability in determining academic success. However, the motivation-level of many young teenagers often takes a nosedive in the middle grades. The child may begin to grumble about assignments and educators, ask to drop out of a favorite activity, complain that she's bored, or show signs of being lost in the educational shuffle. Here are some issues that may contribute to your child’s lack of motivation: • Kids in elementary school tend to believe that the harder you try – the smarter you get! But, as kids move into the early teenage years, they may begin to believe that ability is “fixed” (e.g., “Why try hard if it won't help you to do well?”)  They also start to compare their ability with that of others. This view can dampen motivation.  • The onset of puberty (e.g., getting her period, or being 4 feet 2 inches tall when your be...

“No matter what consequence I choose, there are always other privileges my son enjoys, or even loopholes. For example, I was specific in that he couldn't use the computer or cell phone during the 3 day discipline; but he still has other privileges during those 3 days--like video games. Also, I didn't specifically ground him, so he visited a friend in the neighborhood (where he probably used his friend's computer), and I specifically said he lost the use of his cell phone, so he used the house phone instead (although for shorter periods). I was uncomfortable with this, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to alter the consequence mid-stream. What do I do?” When implementing a 3-day discipline, it is best that the child have no privileges + grounding. That is, no use of cell phone, no use of computer, no use of video games, no leaving the house – and in the case where he enjoys hibernating in his room – no access to his bedroom except to dress and ...

"My 16-year-old son’s grades were in rapid decline in the last school semester. Should I get more involved in his school activities this next semester? If so, what would be the best way to go about it?" Your teenage son needs you in his life more than he may admit – although he may want you present under different terms and conditions than he did previously. Some moms and dads misread the signals that their teenagers send and back off too soon. For example, for teenagers at age 13, about 75% of moms and dads report high or moderate involvement in school related activities, but when teenagers reach age 16, the rate of parent involvement has dropped to 55%. The rate continues to drop throughout high school. Research shows that teens do better in school when their moms and dads are involved in their lives, and that education works best when educators and both parents work closely with one another. Here are 15 crucial parenting tips for staying involved in a teenager’s s...