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Dropping out of school has become a serious problem for many teenagers today. Your son or daughter may think of dropping out for various reasons. If your teenager drops out, he/she is likely to be under-employed -- or unemployed -- in the future. Here are some helpful pointers to prevent your adolescent from dropping out before it is too late: 1. Concentrate on your teen's goals instead of focusing on why he/she is unsuccessful in school. Have your teen (a) identify goals, (b) develop a list of school, home, and personal barriers to reaching those goals, and (c) devise strategies to overcome the barriers. 2. Consider alternative school settings. Options include magnet schools, alternative schools, charter schools, work-based learning programs, career academies, and general educational development (GED) programs. Include your adolescent in all discussions with school personnel. 3. Encourage your adolescent to seek out extracurricular activities or employment to ...

A good portion of your daughter’s behavior during adolescence is part of a normal developmental process called “separation and individuation.”  A teenager’s need to identify with her peer group starts to take precedence over her sense of identification with parents and family. This usually concludes with complete separation and independence by age 18 or 20. You can make your daughter’s transition to adulthood smoother and more navigable if you keep the following suggestions in mind: 1. Though easier said than done, parents need to reassess their own motives. For example: Are you afraid of letting go and seeing her make mistakes on her own? Do you have a hidden emotional need that you’re expecting her to fulfill? Is it possible that you have selfish motives for wanting your daughter to stay close to you? If so, you need to realize that these are your problems, not hers. ==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents 2. Find a way to embrace and affirm the shi...

Many moms and dads describe interactions with their children in which they promised all kinds of special privileges in exchange for good behavior.  Moms and dads end up feeling as though they are desperately bribing their kids to comply, and their children can come to expect something extra for simply doing a couple daily chores, which can in turn lead to a huge “sense of entitlement.” So, what’s the difference between a reward and a bribe, and which one is better? Rewards celebrate positive behavior. A promised treat for going beyond expectations or a surprise for excellent behavior is a reward. It should never become common, or your youngster will discover that withholding the positive behavior will generate promises of larger rewards. The goal is to reinforce the good to encourage positive behaviors even when there is no likelihood for reward. Rewards are positive responses to positive behavior to motivate future good behavior. ==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for...

Here's the grief cycle that parents tend to go through when parenting a child with Oppositional Defiance Disorder: ==> Help for Parents with Defiant Children and Teens

Why should parents stop screaming at their kids – in all cases – effective immediately? Here are important reasons why: Your children will learn that they never really have to change their behavior, because screaming is not much of a consequence. Instead, they will just listen to the yelling and do whatever they want to do anyway. And eventually, they will simply tune you out completely. Your kids are also apt to think that it is okay for them to scream a lot. You’re teaching your children that yelling is an appropriate response when one is angry or stressed. It empowers your children (but in a bad way), because it gives them the message that you are not in control …and if you are not in control, they assume that they are the ones in charge. CLICK HERE for the full article...

How parents of children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder [ODD] can take care of themselves: ==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Parenting Teens with ODD

There are 5 parts to preventing risky behavior in your youngster: (1) spotting possible problems, (2) working through the problem, (3) being a monitor, (4) being a mentor, and (5) being a role model. Let’s look at each in turn… 1. Spotting Possible Problems— Consider these methods for spotting problems before they turn into full-blown crises: • Be actively involved in your youngster’s life. This is important for all moms and dads, no matter what the living arrangements. Knowing how your youngster usually thinks, feels, and acts will help you to notice when things begin to change. Some changes are part of your youngster’s growing up, but others could be signs of trouble. • Create healthy ways for your youngster to express emotions. Much “acting out” stems from kids not knowing how to handle their emotions. Feelings can be so intense that usual methods of expressing them don’t work. Or, because feelings like anger or sadness are viewed as “bad,” your youngster may not...

There can be no simple solution when facing a raging teen. It is not fair or even effective to expect mothers and fathers to avoid upsetting their teen. Once your teen gets pissed-off, you can’t always make it better. Unfortunately, moms and dads can make it worse - and even reinforce angry behavior - if they shout, insult or argue back. Sometimes the best we can do is to not make it worse and then deal with a teen’s rage at a better time in a fair and effective manner. Giving teens a consequence later when you are not upset - and when they are not upset - is always best. They may get upset later, but at least your consequence was not given out of rage. Teens are less likely to "get even" later if you don’t discipline them when you are upset. Dealing with Teen Rage: 15 Tips for Parents 1. In order to come up with a solution that will help, it’s important to first figure out what the problem is—what causes your child’s rage? You’ll be on your way to stopping the ...

What causes defiant behavior? The reason: Because defiant kids haven’t figured-out how to solve their problems yet. If parents don't find out what problem their child is trying to solve with her bad behavior and offer her a good solution, the defiance will continue – and get worse over time! There are many different kinds of problems children encounter, and each looks a little different in terms of behavior. These are the three main types of problem-solving challenges parents can expect to experience: 1. Social problems: Some children have great difficulty getting along well with others, particularly peers their own age (e.g., they don’t know how to handle it if a classmate does something they don’t like). Bullies, in particular, often lack social problem-solving skills and mistreat their peers to compensate. 2. Functional problems: This is when your youngster has problems meeting responsibilities at home and school (e.g., lies about having his homework done or lose...

Are you dealing with a disrespectful teenager? Don't let this behavior go unchecked, or you'll soon have a disaster on your hands. Teenagers need to know that their actions have consequences, but as a mother or father, you need to ensure that you enforce effective consequences for disrespectful behavior in teenagers – both at home and school. As a former disrespectful teen, I remember all too well being on the opposite side of the fence. I hope the following tips for dealing with disrespectful teenagers will help you establish effective consequences: 1. Choosing effective consequences for your disrespectful adolescent shouldn't be difficult. You either give or you take away: You give additional chores or work assignments, and you take away personal entertainment access. You must decide on a time period for the effective consequence to take place. Does one smart remark earn one missed hour of video games? Does a detention at school mean one night being grounded? ...

Time-outs can be an effective method of discipline for kids ages 3 to 9. Getting the best results will require some work in the beginning, but things will get easier as time goes on. This type of discipline, which involves isolating the youngster for a short period of time so he can think over his behavior, can help the mother or father feel less guilty for disciplining the youngster. Tips for making time-outs an effective disciplinary method: 1. A time-out allows both the parent and the youngster to have a few minutes on their own before talking through the issue. 2. A time-out provides kids with an understanding that they are responsible for their own actions, and that there are consequences to negative behavior. 3. A time-out provides the tools necessary for parent and child to have a conversation about why the behavior is inappropriate and what can be done differently next time. 4. Choose a designated area or chair in a boring place. Make sure there is no ...

The thought of raising adolescents often comes with fear and trembling accompanied by visions of raging hormones and slamming doors. In a world that often teaches us to "watch out for number one," it can be a challenge to raise responsible teenagers. Below are THE BEST TIPS to follow that will help moms and dads provide opportunities for their teenagers to develop responsible behaviors: 1. Adolescence is a time when teens move quickly from being dependent where they look up to you and usually want to please, to becoming independent and wanting to make their own decisions and think for themselves. This path is not always smooth because the changes can be hard to cope with for both you and your adolescent. This is a time for moms and dads to gradually help adolescents to take responsibility for themselves. During adolescence your teens may seem to temporarily reject your values and it is easy to become frustrated and distressed and feel that you have lost your influen...