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Hi Mark, I have a question regarding my 14 year old son who has chronically been sleeping in for the last 2 months. He refuses to go to bed at night---or goes, then sneaks down to the computer or out to a friends house at night. He has missed over 30 days of school and now we are heading back after the holidays and do not know how to break this pattern. Repeated calls in the morning to get up do not work. He responds in loud and foul language to leave him alone. What do we do? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here are some tips: 1. Flick the lights on and off a few times. 2. Pull the cover off of him. 3. Push him out of bed, gently. 4. Say "breakfast is on the table” (don't say this if it isn't true). 5. Set an alarm clock. It should have a noticeable ring, but not deafening. Set it for the time he needs to get up and put it by his bed. 6. Shake him a bit and say "rise and shine" … "time to get up" …...

You and your partner may have thought it would never happen – that your children would always remain precious angels, so perfect that you would never have to think about how to discipline them. Unfortunately, as most moms and dads know, that fantasy turns into a harsh reality very early on. Children will be children and how you intend to discipline them will soon become a very real fact of your life. To make matters worse, as your kids grow older you may even find that you and your partner are not always on the same page when it comes to discipline. Discipline differences can cause trouble in a marriage – and can also greatly confuse your kids. It is important that you and your partner work together to come up with discipline methods that you both can agree on. ==>  Effective Disciplinary Techniques for Defiant Teens and Preteens Many moms and dads end up adopting disciplinary techniques similar to those that that they grew up with. If your parents were overly strict, ...

Dear Mark, I have recently "joined the program" and have seen an overall improvement. I have 3 daughters aged 17 (now left school & unemployed after going to live with her father several months ago because he does not have any boundaries), 14 (major issues see below) and 10. The children's father consumes alcohol in excess, which contributed to his lack of supervision. Separated/divorced 4 yrs ago and my 14yo went to live with her father over 12 months ago where she was basically unsupervised until crisis this April including alcohol & Marijuana use, shoplifting, running away etc. I now have court orders to stop her running back there when I placed boundaries on her. She is under care of mental health team (initially depressed now behaviour issues) and she has been attending appts. She keeps saying that she would rather live in a foster home than live with me (in a comfortable home). I remove privileges of computer, bedroom door, phone, iPod, ...

Honesty is the basis for any relationship because it develops trust and upon that foundation simple things like communication and responsibility rest. When a youngster lies, that trust is broken and relationships suffer. Moms and dads often don't know how to handle dishonesty and common discipline techniques don't quite address the problem. A more comprehensive plan is usually necessary since lying often has several components. Here are some ways to handle lying: 1. Ask your youngster why he was lying. Kids lie for a variety of reasons: to impress friends, to escape consequences or because of an active imagination. When you find out why your youngster is lying, it becomes easier to deal with the situation. For instance, you wouldn't discipline a youngster who is lying to protect someone the same way you would discipline a youngster who is avoiding consequences. Ask your youngster about the reason for the lying so you know how to prevent lying in the future. 2. A...

When teens break the law, they’re handled in a different way than a grown-up who commits the same criminal offense. The aim of the law would be to discipline the teenagers for what they’ve done, but also to provide them with an opportunity to learn from their blunders. Often the adolescent is spoken to about the criminal offense by law enforcement, and when the adolescent confesses taking part in the criminal offense, it’s usually kept out of legal courts (if the adolescent hasn’t experienced prior trouble with the law). Rather than going to court, it’s usually dealt with in a manner in which the adolescent is responsible for repaying any damages he’s done and returning any stolen property. An apology and an explanation to the victim may also be a stipulation. Offenses by teenagers can consist of simple things like trespassing or as severe as robbery or even worse. More severe offenses can end with the adolescent needing to appear in court. In these instances, a family gr...

Parenting presents challenges no matter what the temperament of your youngster. However, when your youngster displays behaviors that are intense, persistent and oppositional, parenting becomes even more challenging. These kids often are identified as strong-willed. S trong-willed kids usually think they know best, and they often are unwilling to cooperate or compromise with moms and dads or others. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to help you maintain your sanity while guiding your strong-willed youngster on his journey through childhood. A strong-willed youngster is one who tries to gain power over any situation he finds himself in. He pushes boundaries and will not take "no" for an answer. The most important action is being consistent in the way you enforce your disciplinary techniques. Make sure you also direct your strong-willed youngster's powerful energy toward positive goals, so that you don't dampen his spirit. Here are the top 10...

The nice thing about having more than one youngster is that two or more can entertain each other. The bad thing is they tend to fight amongst themselves. The guidelines in this post will help you step back and remove yourself from some of their conflict. Taking a neutral role may force them to learn how manage differences and get along. If you find yourself spending a lot of time interceding in your kid's arguments, then the following tips might save you a few headaches: 1. Teach older kids to respect other views. Help them learn to be good listeners and be sure they understand what the other person wants to say before expressing their own opinions. Emphasize the value of compromise or a win-win approach so that everyone comes away from a dispute feeling respected if not gratified. Model a similar technique in your own conflicts at home or in public so that kids can learn from your example. 2. Mediate stalemates. When you discern that the children are having ...

Saying “no” to your child isn't easy. “Everybody else is doing it, why can’t I?” they cry. How can you have the boundary for “no means no” without being the “bad guy”? When saying "no" to your kids, remember that an explanation is definitely required, and your answer ought to be in line with your other behaviors. Whenever your adolescent asks why she can’t go to the party, tell her the truth. “I know when I was your age, I went to an event where there was lots of alcohol drinking, and I told my mom there was no alcohol there.” Experience demonstrates to your children that you DO understand, as long as you inform them about the consequences. “I came home drunk and threw up all night, and it really wasn’t worth it.” For younger children, make certain your explanation is within the realm of their comprehension - they usually don’t possess reasoning skills yet, so an answer of “because you might get hurt” will do until they are old enough to understand. For ol...

In most U.S. States, there isn't any provision for revoking or reversing the termination of parental rights other than under specific situations such as fraud, duress, coercion, etc. Because termination is really a legal concern decided by the court, you might want to talk to and/or retain the services of a competent lawyer who's educated in family law matters where you live to examine the legal court action taken to end your parental rights. If you want help in finding and/or paying for a lawyer, the American Bar Association supplies a lawyer referral service at http://www.abanet.org/legalservices/lris/directory/home.html and the Consumers' Guide to Legal Help at http://www.abanet.org/legalservices/findlegalhelp/home.cfm provides pro bono attorney referrals and more. Should you believe that your rights may have been violated in the termination of parental rights case against you, you may want to inquire if the agency has an appeals process or an ombudsman. Nume...

In this post, we will look at some important tips for single moms raising boys: 1. Accept your child's differences. 2. As your son matures, investigate local boys groups or clubs that he could join such as Cub Scouts. Don't be intimidated by such sponsored events as father-child boat races or picnics. Let the troop leader know that with the number of single parent families, you would be comfortable if the den would acknowledge parent-child events. But the biggest benefit of scouting that should be experienced by all males is that initiation ritual that welcomes them into the pack. 3. Be a little creative in helping your son learn guy stuff. For instance, many single moms report concern over their child's using the potty while sitting, or playing with their makeup. Chances are your son won't spend the rest of his life peeing sitting down while wearing mascara. Homosexuality doesn't exist because you didn't monitor the morning makeup sessions! But ...

Here are some parenting strategies to help fathers and mothers raise daughters who will be successful in all aspects of their life: Moms and dads strive to raise daughters who will be independent, confident, and self-reliant. In a society where it can be more difficult to achieve success as a woman than a man, parents often feel the need to start their girls on the right path at a very young age. 1. Allow your child to be her own person. 2. Allow your child to see fully who you are. 3. Always know where your child is, who she is with, and what she is doing. Know her friends and the moms and dads of those friends. Have regular check-in times. 4. As a parent, try to be a coach – not a judge. Coaches encourage, have high expectations, praise, criticize, and set limits, but kids accept coaching because they believe coaches are in an alliance with them and on the same team. Judging parents direct their efforts at finding misdoings and punishing appropriately. Moms an...

A few questions for you mom: Would you rather be the recipient of 459 or 182? Would you be concerned if your child texted someone LMIRL? Are you a MOS? The questions may seem like a foreign language because NALOPKT. Texting has become so common among teenagers, it's almost rare to see one not typing out a text-message on a cell phone, but moms and dads may have more reason for concern than just the cell phone bill. Those texts could contain coded drug messages. As a mother or father, it's hard to keep up with lingo. If you find a text on your teen's cell that says, "I want a burrito"...normally, that wouldn't be cause for alarm. But what if we told you that is text code for ecstasy? And a message that says, "Has anyone seen Tina" …that's code for meth. "I’m fixin a BLT" …that means rolling a blunt. "I want a quart of Ben and Jerry's" actually refers to the drug Ice. Sounds strange – I know. Police ...