It's been hard to take this back seat...

Hello Mark,

I know I have not been very diligent in corresponding. I will tell you ever since I made the statement to my son, "As a parent, I know I've made some mistakes in my parenting decisions. And I realize, as a parent, I have an obligation to you to make some changes." With that, I included: "...although I don't know what those changes are, completely, I can tell you that as they come up I will discuss them openly with you and we can come to agreements together, something we both can live with."

I've completely stepped back from 'hounding' him about grades and his bedroom...both of which he has taken responsibility, for that I am so grateful! I said to him that I can't do it for him when it comes to school and that he is solely responsible for whether he wants to successfully graduate high school and move on to college.

That said, it's been hard to take this back seat, but it's paying off and he's becoming more responsible. We attended a College Fair last month and it was his idea! I'm glad to say he's at least starting to think about college seriously.

Thanks again and I'm sure I'll be in touch.

R.V. (parent of a 16 year old young man)

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

What will your program teach me?

I have a 15-year-old who is driving me crazy. He talks back. He is always fussing on the phone with his girlfriend. Its his way or no way, and I am going out of my mind. I sometimes wish he was at boarding school. My nerves are out of control. What will your program teach me, and why should I buy it?

________________________

Hi P.,

>>>>>>>>>> Why should you join my program?

Because I have the best offer on the internet. If you don't believe me, try to find a better deal -- you won't!

My website is ranked #1 in MSN and #2 in Yahoo for parenting out-of-control kids.

When you download "My ODD Child" eBook, you will automatically become a member of Online Parent Support. As a member you will have access to the following:

1) Your online parent coach - me
2) The online version of "My ODD Child" eBook
3) The printable version of "My ODD Child" eBook
4) Over 3 hours of audio from the ODD seminar
5) 7 Power Point presentations used during the seminar
6) 2 videos used during the seminar
7) 10 videos that demonstrate "how to make money online" (for the single moms & dads who get little or no financial help from their child's other parent)
8) Access to my website
9) Online Parent Support Chat Room
10) Online Parent Support Forum
11) Online Parent Support Newsletter
12) Online Parent Support Newsroom
13) Online Parent Support Blog
14) 22 additional parenting eBooks
15) 22 additional eBooks on "how to make money from home"
16) Access to free government grants for families and women
17) A "Guide To Writing Funding Proposals"
18) A money back guarantee

>>>>>>>>>> What will my program teach you?

What to do when your child --
1. Abuses alcohol
2. Abuses drugs
3. Applies guilt trips
4. Applies insults
5. Argues with adults
6. Believes the rules don't apply to him
7. Blames others for his behavior
8. Blames others for his problems
9. Calls you names (e.g., "bitch," "asshole," etc.)
10. Deliberately annoys people
11. Destroys property in the house
12. Does not feel responsible for her actions
13. Does not take “no” for an answer
14. Engages in self-injury or cutting
15. Feels entitled to privileges
16. Gets caught shoplifting
17. Gets into trouble with the law
18. Gets suspended or expelled from school
19. Has a learning disability
20. Has an eating disorder
21. Has been sexually abused
22. Has frequent anger outbursts
23. Has problems with authority figures
24. Has problems with siblings
25. Is bullied at school or in the neighborhood
26. Is depressed
27. Is failing academically
28. Is getting into trouble with chat rooms
29. Is grieving the loss of a family member or friend
30. Is hanging with the wrong crowd
31. Is having unprotected sex
32. Is manipulative and deceitful
33. Is parented by a adoptive parent
34. Is parented by a divorced or separated parent
35. Is parented by a foster parent
36. Is parented by a grand parent
37. Is parented by a single parent
38. Is parented by a step parent
39. Is physically aggressive
40. Is resentful and vindictive
41. Is sexually abusive
42. Is touchy and easily annoyed by others
43. Is verbally abusive
44. Is very disrespectful
45. Lacks motivation
46. Leaves the house without permission
47. Lies
48. Refuse to do chores
49. Refuses to follow rules
50. Runs away from home
51. Skips school
52. Smokes cigarettes
53. Slips out at night while you are asleep
54. Steals
55. Suffers with ADHD
56. Suffers with Bi-Polar Disorder
57. Suffers with Conduct Disorder
58. Teases or bullies others
69. Threatens suicide
60. Uses excessive profanity

If you can find a better deal than this for under 30 bucks, you better take it.

Here's to a better home environment,

Mark Hutten, M.A.

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

Daughter Caught Smoking

Question:

Do you have a tried and true discipline for a teenage daughter who is caught smoking?

Answer:

Sorry. You're not going to like my advice, but here goes:

You will not be able to stop her from smoking. Pick your battles carefully - and this is not a battle you should fight. In fact, the more you worry about it or lecture her, the more she will smoke! In fact, she will enjoy turning this into a game (i.e., I'll play "sneaking a smoke without mom knowing").

But you can stop her from smoking on YOUR property. Here's what you can say to your daughter:

"I can't keep you from damaging your health by smoking. But it's your health - not mine! However, I don't want you smoking in my house or anywhere on my property. If you choose to smoke on my property, you'll choose the consequence, which is grounding for 3 days without privileges (e.g., use of phone, T.V., computer, etc.)."

If your daughter smokes on the property, follow through with the consequence. If YOU smoke, keep your cigarettes with you at all times.

==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents

I Don't Want My Kid Following In My Footsteps

What if you haven't been the greatest role model for your kid in the past and are just starting out to become one? What can I do to help my kid not follow in my footsteps??!

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Hi M.,

Simply think about what you say and how you act in front of your child. Your child learns social skills and how to deal with stress by listening to and watching you.

Do not take part in illegal, unhealthy, or dangerous practices related to alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs or he may believe that, no matter what you say, these practices are OK.

Perhaps most importantly, know that you are a good mother in spite of some bad choices you may have made in the past. The past is NOT the present, and no one should be held hostage by their past.

Mark

Any Natural Treatment For ADHD?

My son is ADHD, but I don't like the idea of him being on strong medication for it. Is there any natural way to treat ADHD?

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Hi A.,

There are many natural treatments for ADHD, but few of them have ever been compared to a placebo, so it is hard to know if they really work.

The only natural treatments worth considering for ADHD are those based on increasing certain fatty acids in the brain. There are abnormalities in these fatty acids in the brains of people who have ADHD.

Omega-3 fatty acids may work best. Sources of Omega-3 are fish, flax seed oil, and some greens. Of these three, fish oils may work best and are worth trying -- not because they work so well -- but because they have few side effects. But there's no hard evidence that they work at all.

Sorry I don't have better news for you,

Mark

He's Soiling His Pants

My son is 6-years-old and was diagnosed with ODD last year. I am currently having a problem with him soiling his pants. I am at "whits end" ...don't know what to do.

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Hi J.,

Some of the reasons for soiling are:

---problems during toilet training

---physical disabilities, which make it hard for the child to clean him/herself

---physical condition (e.g., chronic constipation, Hirschprung's Disease)

---family or emotional problems

Soiling which is NOT caused by a physical illness or disability is called encopresis.

Children with encopresis may have other problems, such as short attention span, low frustration tolerance, hyperactivity and poor coordination.

Occasionally, this problem with soiling starts with a stressful change in the child's life, such as the birth of a sibling, separation/divorce of parents, family problems, or a move to a new home or school.

Encopresis is more common in boys than in girls.

Although most children with soiling do not have a physical condition, they should have a complete physical evaluation by a family physician.

If no physical causes are found, or if problems continue, the next step is an evaluation by a child psychiatrist. The psychiatrist will review the results of the physical evaluation and then decide whether emotional problems are contributing to the encopresis.

Encopresis can be treated with a combination of educational, psychological and behavioral methods. Most children with encopresis can be helped, but progress can be slow and extended treatment may be necessary. Early treatment of a soiling or bowel control problem can help prevent and reduce social and emotional suffering and pain for the child and family.

It will be important for you to catch your ODD son in the act of "not doing something wrong" (i.e., soiling himself). The trick will be for you to provide a lot of intensity when he is not soiling himself, and to provide NO intensity when he does.

Here's additional info on encopresis: www.aafp.org/afp/990415ap/2171.html

Please stay in touch,

Mark

How do I deal with my ODD child?

How do I deal with my child? He has all the symptoms of oppositional defiant disorder (ODD).

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Hi T.,

Actually it will take the whole eBook to answer this question adequately.

But in brief, parents typically use the same parenting strategies with their ODD kid that they used with their other kids -- why not? They are basically all the same -- right? Wrong!

Traditional kids respond well to traditional parenting strategies. However, ODD kids use traditional parenting strategies against the parent. Parents of ODD kids are in a never ending cycle of sabotage with their ODD kid. If you are in a power struggle with your ODD kid -- he's winning!

In my eBook, I'm going to show you a set of "non-traditional" parenting strategies that will work -- and they will work almost immediately.

If your situation is like that of the other parents I work with, things are not getting better -- they're getting worse. So please don't wait any longer.

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

Here's to a better home environment,

Mark