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Since kids pass through many developmental stages as they mature, it is important to understand the differences between normal childhood attempts to defy authority and symptoms of full-blown Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). Oppositional defiant kids share many of the following characteristics: The ODD youngster is socially exploitive and very quick to notice how others respond. He then uses these responses to his advantage in family or social environments, or both. These kids tolerate a great deal of negativity – in fact they seem to thrive on large amounts of conflict, anger and negativity from others, and are frequently the winners in escalating battles of negativity. They possess a strong need for control, and will do just about anything to gain power. They typically deny responsibility for their misbehavior and have little insight into how they impact others. Besides ODD, these kids may also have another psychiatric disorder. ODD is frequently a co-morbid condition...

Teaching students with Oppositional Defiant Disorder [ODD] will be -- let me repeat that -- WILL BE the most challenging aspect of your teaching career. However, if you have a few special tools in your teaching toolbox, getting through to the ODD child can be simplified, saving you from (a) headaches in the short run and (b) total "burn-out" in the long run. Tips for teaching students with Oppositional Defiant Disorder [ODD]: 1. Address concerns privately. This will help to avoid power struggles as well as an audience for a potential power struggle. 2. Allow the ODD child to redo assignments to improve his/her score or final grade. 3. Always listen to the ODD child. Let him/her talk. Don't interrupt until he/she finishes. 4. Ask parents what works at home. 5. Avoid all power struggles with the ODD child. They will get you nowhere. Thus, try to avoid verbal exchanges. State your position clearly and concisely and choose your battles wisely. ...

The teen years for girls are a period of real danger. Girls entering puberty often face a "crisis in confidence" which makes them vulnerable to risky behavior, and these bad choices can have devastating lifelong consequences. They are confronted with drugs, peer pressure, sex, dating, bullying and more. Teen girls encounter more "stressors" in life, especially in their interpersonal relationships, than teen boys, and they react more strongly to those pressures, accounting in part for their higher levels of depression. The best way to help your troubled teen girl is to intervene as soon as you sense something is wrong. Here are some important tips for raising teen girls: 1. Aim at building and maintaining strong family relationships, especially between daughters and fathers. While teen girls may rebel against this, a close-knit family is a strong support structure in times of need. 2. Allow teen girls to express themselves within reason and don’t ...

Frustration jumps in and gets the better of us all once in awhile. We all know what it feels like and what’s most likely to set us off. It’s important to remember that frustration is a normal human emotion. It becomes a problem, however, when it gets out of control or is used inappropriately. Uncontrollable parental displays of rage resulting from “toxic” frustration rarely do much to improve a youngster's behavior, and can sometimes be damaging to the parent-child relationship. Moms and dads need to find effective ways to deal with their frustration. People use a variety of methods to deal with their feelings of frustration. The three main ways are called: suppressing, expressing, and calming. 1. ‘Suppressing’ frustration is probably the least effective way of dealing with this potentially volatile emotion. It means holding your frustration in. The danger is that, since there is no outward expression of your feelings, your frustration gets internalized and can...

One of the common stereotypes of the teen years is that the rebellious, wild kid is continually at odds with his or her parents. Although it may be the case for some (and this is a time of emotional ups and downs), that stereotype certainly is not representative of most adolescents. But the primary goal of the adolescent years is to achieve independence. For this to occur, adolescents will start pulling away from their care-takers — especially the mother or father whom they're the closest to. This can come across as adolescents always seeming to have different opinions than their care-takers or not wanting to be around their care-takers in the same way they used to. As adolescents mature, they start to think more abstractly and rationally. They're forming their moral code. And care-takers of adolescents may find that children who previously had been willing to conform to please them will suddenly begin asserting themselves — and their opinions — strongly and rebellin...

Hi Mark, I have a question regarding my 14 year old son who has chronically been sleeping in for the last 2 months. He refuses to go to bed at night---or goes, then sneaks down to the computer or out to a friends house at night. He has missed over 30 days of school and now we are heading back after the holidays and do not know how to break this pattern. Repeated calls in the morning to get up do not work. He responds in loud and foul language to leave him alone. What do we do? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here are some tips: 1. Flick the lights on and off a few times. 2. Pull the cover off of him. 3. Push him out of bed, gently. 4. Say "breakfast is on the table” (don't say this if it isn't true). 5. Set an alarm clock. It should have a noticeable ring, but not deafening. Set it for the time he needs to get up and put it by his bed. 6. Shake him a bit and say "rise and shine" … "time to get up" …...

You and your partner may have thought it would never happen – that your children would always remain precious angels, so perfect that you would never have to think about how to discipline them. Unfortunately, as most moms and dads know, that fantasy turns into a harsh reality very early on. Children will be children and how you intend to discipline them will soon become a very real fact of your life. To make matters worse, as your kids grow older you may even find that you and your partner are not always on the same page when it comes to discipline. Discipline differences can cause trouble in a marriage – and can also greatly confuse your kids. It is important that you and your partner work together to come up with discipline methods that you both can agree on. ==>  Effective Disciplinary Techniques for Defiant Teens and Preteens Many moms and dads end up adopting disciplinary techniques similar to those that that they grew up with. If your parents were overly strict, ...