ONLINE PARENTING COACH

"I know there are lots of changes going on and my daughter is going to react, but I need some support on another issue. She asked this morning if her friend could come over after school (chores had been done) so I said yes, but asked her to please call me and let me know if her friend was coming or not this afternoon (it was kinda up in the air awaiting approval from the other child's parents). My daughter called, as I requested, but left a vm on my work phone saying this: "Hi Mom, Mallory is coming over, I hate you, Goodbye." This for some reason annoys me to no end. I have no idea why, but I'm both infuriated and want to cry. Do I address it or not ... and if so, how?" Click here for the answer...

OK, I ordered your book, read some of it by skipping around for now, hoping for an answer to help get me started and so far I have tried all that I have been reading. My most desperate question involves my son leaving mad, staying out all night or days at a time and not contacting me so I know where he is or whom he is with. I started out with grounding him to the house, which didn't work as he comes and goes, when I am not home, as he pleases. He went so far as to skip school one day having a "female friend"over and then lied about not going to school. He told me if I didn't ask him questions he wouldn't have to lie to me. I have recently taken his house key and he still left then came back the following evening at knocking on the door because it was locked. I set his book bag outside and told him was not getting in. He responded with "you knew where I was" and I chose not to respond back so he left. I hated doing this but he is constantly leavi...

Hello Mark, Just curious if you have any knowledge about Neurofeedback, EEG and HEG and it's effectiveness. Thanks! D.Z. _________________ Hi D., I do know that Neurofeedback can train the ADHD kid to alter his brain functioning so that he daydreams less and pays attention more (through the use of special software and computer enhanced techniques which allow him to monitor his progress in a videogame format). One of my adolescent clients who tried this couldn't sit still for his Neurofeedback sessions at first. After about the third session he began to enjoy the sessions. By about his tenth session he was more attentive at home and less oppositional. Within six-months his reading and math scores had progressed one grade level. He continues to make grade-appropriate progress in school, but does have occasional setbacks. He goes back periodically for booster sessions. So Neurofeedback is a cool adjunct to the implementation of appropriate parenting strategies for ODD ki...

My child has been removed from the home at this time for approximately 3 to 6 months. He was charged with assault on me for the second time. I asked for some mental evaluations to be done to see if he could get counseling rather than go into state custody and foster care or reform school. So he will be returning home, and I do have to complete some counseling participation myself. Is this program in any way board certified or recognized by the law or state? If you would send me any information you have on that I would appreciate it. Thank you, B. ______________________ Online Parent Support is not certified by any board; however, there are occasions when the Judge has court-ordered a parent to complete the program. I can provide you with a ‘certificate of completion’ in the case where you would be permitted to use our services.

Hi Mark, I have wanted to contact you sooner but time has slipped away. I have received your material and have released control of my son's school issues. They are now his responsibility - his grades that is - not his behavior. He has been grounded since November - the 1st report card ~ even though he was told he would get his privileges back if his progress report showed improvement ~ when the progress report came the grades were still the same. He made no effort. Finally after a constant tense household ~ several conversations - talks about his future and how his grades will effect him ~ calm talks ~ screaming matches~ crying and all of those adjectives I have missed ~ I finally let go. I took your advice and let him become responsible for his schoolwork. From that moment forward I would not email the teachers, make excuses or try to get extra credit to bring up his grade ~ it was now his responsibility. Now it is a new card marking and he is showing effort. I have not asked h...

I’ve responded to your email below. Please look for these arrows below >>>>>>>>>>> _____________________________________________________________________________________ Good Morning, Thank you for responding to my last set of questions so quickly. I'm a single parent and the guidance and support is greatly appreciated and needed! So ... we got through the first 3 day punishment. Things seem to be getting better, daughter had a better attitude for a few days, etc. >>>>>>>>> You may want to review "When You Want Something From Your Kid" (in the Anger Management chapter of the online version). >>>>>>>> step 1: Pick the least restrictive consequence first (e.g., ground for one day with no computer). >>>>>>>>>step 2 (if needed): If she doesn't accept this discipline (i.e., she gets on the computer anyway, or leaves the house), then take everything away (or at...

Today's public school system is poorly equipped to handle out of control teenagers. Many teachers will tell you they are afraid of some students. Often times, parents turn to military schools as an option to discipline and educate their out of control teenagers. Military schools, which seemed headed for extinction in the late 1960s and early '70s, have seen enrollments increase steadily in recent years. Many military schools are jammed to capacity and sport long waiting lists, as anxious parents scramble for slots. 

My 16-year-old daughter will not go to school. I ordered and read your online book last night. She came to me this morning and told me she would not be going to school tomorrow and I told her I would not argue with her about it anymore. If she didn't go to school tomorrow, she would not be able to talk on the phone or use the computer to communicate with anyone. She said fine. I told her the three-day restriction would continue every three days until she goes to school. My only fear is that I am going to get in trouble for not sending her to school. Do you think she will finally give in? She is a very strong-willed child. She has been diagnosed with ODD, OCD, ADHD and is supposed to be taking anti-depressants. She refuses to take any medication. Give me your thoughts, please. T.W. _____________ Hi T., Re: getting her to take her meds. Pick your battles carefully. I would let go of this one. If she were bipolar, she wouldn’t be able to neglect her meds, but with odd/ocd/...

I have read through all your information. I feel inspired. My 14 year old son has anger rages when things do not go his way. He says he wants to help himself but he doesn't know how. Your information is wonderful in how to help us parents but how can he help himself? ______________ Hi W., When your son feels better about himself, he will begin to help himself. Your child is like a computer, and you are the computer programmer. He takes your disapproval/criticism as instruction. For example, if the parent says to the child, “You’re such a slob,” the criticism downloads in the child’s unconscious mind as “I am a slob” and he ‘acts-out’ the criticism as if it were instruction to be sloppy. The good news is that your son takes your compliments and encouragement as instruction as well. For example, the parent’s compliment, “You do such a great job of not blowing-up when your younger brother annoys you” downloads in the child’s unconscious mind as “I am in control of my strong emotion...

Hello, We just received your book and are desperately trying to stay non emotional. Although, our daughter is angry over losing her cell phone for using horrid profanity, calling us names. She begins to thrown things at us, and kicks the walls. What should our response be when she is being destructive to our home? Thanks, T. ________________ Hi T., Tell her that the next time she chooses to call people names, throw things, kick, etc., she will choose the consequence, which will be grounding for 3 days with no privileges (no phone, T.V., games, etc.). If she does any of the above, follow through with the consequence. Please refer to this page for more instruction: Anger Management

  Hi M., I’ve responded to each of your points below.  Please look for these arrows: >>>>>>>>>>> ======================== Hi Mark, First -- I spoke with you a few days ago about my out-of-control son who is 8 (almost 9). Thank you so much for your time and counsel -- we have now been implementing the techniques for saying "yes" and "no" for about 4 days and are having interesting results. The first 2 days were great. My son was stunned by the approach and, as you predicted, he tried every trick to get us to cave. He went to his room when "grounded" for a period of time and calmed down. Now, however, he is frustrated with how things are going and demanding that we stop the stupidity. Last night in the midst of a tantrum he even screamed at me "Why don't you just yell instead!" Needless to say my response we "I'm not going to argue." You can imagine his rage... Anyway, here are c...