ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Dear Mr. Hutten: I cannot tell you how excited I am to begin implementing your parenting techniques. I just ordered the Online book, and have read up to page 30 (end of Session #1). I have to admit, it was nice to read that I am not alone in this "battle" with my son. He just turned 15 last month, but his attitude and demeanor started to change in February/March, when he met his girlfriend... His grades started dropping (he had been an A/B student until this point). He failed a semester of Spanish, then a semester of Biology; didn't care about anyone else, has ONLY cared about himself, but yet, he cannot accept responsibility for himself. Like you stated, he blames EVERYONE else for his actions. So, yes, everything I have read so far, I can truly relate to. My son is in counseling. I wonder now if that is where he needs to be. His father and I are divorced (have been for 10 years - I remarried 3 1/2 years ago). My son has issues at his dad's, with his dad...

Hi Again Mark, It’s the beginning of week 4 and I’ve just finished reading through the last sections. We’ve continued to make great progress at home and the positive behaviours we’ve started to see from our son are nothing short of amazing. I’m sorry to ask the same questions, but I still don’t know how to handle a couple of situations. I hope you can help me with some specific ideas. As I mentioned, our son will often become over-excited in social situations and be either annoying, offensive and/or aggressive. This can even escalate into a violent tantrum. We can now handle any meltdowns at home quite well with poker face etc. and mostly ignoring him until he’s calm. This has worked really well and we even got an unprompted apology the other day (unheard of!). My question is: if he’s in a situation where I can’t ignore or leave him alone because he may harm/disrupt others, how do I handle it without giving him any intensity – especially if it usually means we may have to physicall...

"Our 16 yr old daughter has been acting out in all of the ways you have described in the introduction. She now wants to move out, go on welfare and share an apartment with a guy have never met who is a few years older than her. We have asked her to leave our home for a week this summer because we had reached our limit. She stole from us yet again a significant amount of stuff. She came back wanting to really try to make things work but now wants to move out. What do you suggest?" ```````````````````` Hi H., I would say 16-years-old is a bit young for moving out. You are legally responsible for her until she turns 18. So if you had written this 2 years from now, I'd write a totally different answer. First and foremost, simply work through the 4-week program for now. You are currently only into week #1. Only do one session per week – and be sure to watch ALL the Instructional Videos. Having said that, I think you should call her bluff... if you don...

Online Parent Support

Dear Mark Hutten, I don't want to alienate my runaway daughter; I don't want to enable her. I haven't seen her since Wednesday morning. She does text me. I can't practice your principles because she's not here to practice them on. I want her to come home at night. When she has the baby, around Thanksgiving, I want to help her raise her and not have her dragging the baby around as she hangs out with whomever. I know where she works, I know approximately where her new lover lives. We own the title on her car. I need specific strategies and approaches, please. Thank you, A. ``````````````````` Hi A., Runaway teens, seemingly unmanageable, desperate, desolate, lonely AND alone… they run, in one of two directions: 1. Away from something, someone, a bad situation, perceived threat, disciplined unloving and/or abusive, or in more complex cases of troubled teen run-aways a loving home environment where there are for them, in their minds no real futur...

Hi Mark, What is your opinion? There is a place here in Memphis called Exchange Club Family Center, they have programs to help end family violence. They have a 10 week anger management program for adolescent males (they attend 1 x per week). Do you think this would be helpful, or a waste of time? Of course, we will continue your program. Thanks for advice. S. ````````````````````````````````````` Anger Management classes for your teenager is just another "traditional" parenting strategy that will have little bang for your buck. In too many cases, any form of counseling (other than family counseling) makes a bad problem worse, because the teenager feels he is being singled out as "the problem" and reacts accordingly. I would strongly suggest you stick with Online Parent Support for now. Don't get distracted, Mark

Mark- Thanks for the advice. I did as you said: My 11-year-old S___ refused to clean-up his room ...so I had my 9-year-old C___ do it, and then deducted a portion of S___'s allowance and paid C___ . S___ was not happy that C___ was in his room and that most of his allowance went to C___. But guess what, I don't the problem of S___ refusing to clean his room anymore. Thanks for your help on this one, S.D.

Hi Mark, Hope things are going well with you. I have received A___'s latest school report and the comments from teachers are similar to past years. These include "A___ lacks persistent concentration and is easily distracted by those around her..." and " ...she could make better use of her time when she first arrives at school and would do well to develop effective routines so that she is ready to begin learning rather than involving herself in disputes with others. A___ is encouraged to develop an awareness of how her actions might be unintentionally affecting and antagonising others...modify her own behavior to resolve or avoid conflict...increase her usage of the Mathletics website to extend her ability with regard to speed and accuracy in Maths...easily distracted during share and show sessions..." and the list goes on. I have a meeting with the principle next Fri to try and formulate a long term plan to manage her in the classroom and I really don't know...

Hello Mark, Last Friday I sent you an e-mail re snooping on my daughter's myspace and im accounts. You advised me that this was okay. Thank you SO much. But since I am a category 2, ie. stealth mode mom, how do I confront her with the information I've gleaned? I had suggested sending my husband and me an anonymous letter tipping us off as a way to open a dialogue with her. What do you think? The issue is that she gave oral sex to a boy she knows, but doesn't particularly like (this after she did this with her first love this winter who then dumped her, and broke her heart). Since I discovered this most recent event of last week, I snooped again and learned it was possibly two guys, not just the one. Various guys who she knows through school are IMing her and asking her about it, how many times, etc. One guy, who would like to date her but she doesn't want to, asked if they could be "friends with benefits". And her answer was", Idk , maybe!!!!...

My 16 year old is smoking weed and he knows i have 0 tolerance for this behavior so he moves in with his dad that has major drug issues himself so therefore he has no guidance. What do I do? He says he’s not coming back home and doesn't answer or return my calls.....HELP!!! ```````````````` Hi C., I would allow him to stay with his father. Of course, it will be highly likely that the two of them will have a major blowout at some point, at which time your son will want to return to your house. Then you’ll have some leverage (i.e., able to enforce the “no pot smoking” policy in your home). Mark My Out-of-Control Teen

I have an 18 year-old daughter who left home for 10 days after an argument. We thought she was staying with girlfriends. We found out she was staying with a 26 yr-old boyfriend that we never had met. Our niece told us that he was in jail for drug pushing. He bought her things and gave her a place to stay. I found her walking down the street last night and insisted that she come home. She did and threatened to leave home as soon as she could to be with him - because he makes her happy and does not pressure her like we do. What should be our next move? Should we take away her stuff? In particular her cell phone to try to find a phone number or where this guy lives. Or is it too late since she is legally an adult? ``````````````````````` Hi B., Re: What should be our next move? Help her move out. Re: Should we take away her stuff? No. She’s an adult now that needs to begin the process of leaving the nest. Re: Or is it too late since she is legally an adult? ...

The problem we have is our daughter is not under the Juvenile system in Singapore any longer. She knows it, and today the school phoned me to say that she does her utter best of getting expelled from school …also self mutilates so she can come back to Singapore and live her live of “FREEDOM” ...doing what she wants, when she wants, absolutely nothing affects her, when disciplined she runs away. Sleeps on the streets, goes clubbing, drinks, smokes and gets into drugs. Unknown friends help her…. By the way Mark she is adopted from Poland, and has a gypsy background. We have had her since she was 9 months. Do we let her stay with us, lock all doors as she steals from us, comes and goes as she pleases? Send her to find a Job? No school in Singapore will take her. She plays the role promises, signs whatever you want and on the first occasion runs away, does not care about consequences. One month in The Singapore Girls Home in March and July are as quickly forgotten as a nig...