ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Do you think your child or adolescent may be using street drugs or abusing prescription medications like painkillers? Many moms & dads are faced with the difficult question of "Is my adolescent using drugs?" Read on to find out how to tell if your adolescent is using illicit drugs. Things You’ll Need: • A Drug Sniffer Dog for Hire • A Home Drug Test • A Notebook • An Adolescent Who You Suspect May Be Using Drugs • An Internet Connection • An Observant Eye • ADMINISTER A HOME DRUG TEST: Home drug tests are now available over-the-counter at most major drug store chains. Moms & dads can give their adolescent a drug test for marijuana, opiates, methamphetamine, cocaine and an array of other illicit drugs. • DOES YOUR ADOLESCENT ACT DIFFERENTLY? Drug users experience high highs and low lows. Is your adolescent giddy, talkative and energetic one minute and sleeping excessively the following day? Is your adolescent edgier and moodier than usual?...

Hi Mark, My daughter seems to constantly dwell on negative things, talks about death a lot. When she doesn't get her way, she makes statements such as hurting or killing herself. She's six years old!!! She'll hit herself in the head everytime she doesn't get her way. She has even said she wanted to kill me. She has very poor self esteem, (why I'll never know) she calls herself stupid and an idiot. These thing do not come from within our house. This morning she said she wanted to hurt her little sister. I'm very confused because we practice love and logic in our home. Consequences with empathy. We do not spank or yell. We let the consequence be their punishment. She brings me to tears with her behavior and scares me that she will hurt herself or someone else. I've been reading about childhood Bipolar. Do you think she could be Bipolar? But she turns the switch on and off with control; for instance she's never a problem child at school...

Is your kid rebelling, defying your curfew, or hanging out with questionable kids? Here's how to nip behavior problems in the bud. To be fair, no one has ever pretended that parenting a kid was going to be easy. Still, until your own kids reach that stage, it's tempting to believe your family will be immune to teen behavior problems. No, you tell yourself, your kid will never talk back, stay out too late or pierce her eyebrow. Dream on... Adolescents are basically hard-wired to butt heads with their moms & dads, says Stuart Goldman, MD, director of psychiatric education at Children's Hospital in Boston. "Adolescence is a time of rapid change for kids both physically and cognitively," he explains. "It's the task of the kid to fire their moms & dads and then re-hire them years later, but as consultants rather than managers." But that doesn't mean you have to take it lying down. With the right approach, you can troubleshoot ...

Suppose you have a child who when she is told that she is being disciplined for her cell phone and has lost the privilege to use it for 2 days. The problem is she refuses to give me the cell phone. What can i do so as not to get in a power struggle. Her suggestion is she will put it in the box and not use it. How can I handle this type of situation? Thank you. S. ````````````````````````` I would cancel her plan then. She's holding you hostage. Give her a warning first: "If you choose to avoid this consequence (i.e., turning your cell phone in for 2 days), then you will choose a stiffer consequence -- your cell plan will be canceled." Mark My Out-of-Control Teen

Hi, I had purchase the course a few months ago and was trying to work through t and our daughter (the reason we purchased the course) seemed to be doing better. This morning (The main computer that all the children use has a block on IE so it will only go to approved sites and has software to limit time and function - this was done because of my oldest daughter) I needed to use the computer as I couldn't get my laptop to edit a file correctly and my oldest daughter was on and i noticed that Facebook was up, it is not on the approved site list and noticed that it was a profile of her! It was not really her a it was a slight variation of her name, but it was her. A few months ago we had the same problem with myspace - she had created an account as a 19 year old waitress and it was not a family friendly thing. Both of these instances were due to my wife accidentally shutting off the web filter and she (my daughter) took advantage of it. We put the web filter on a couple of years ag...

Given my son's level of gridlock, is giving the list of chores for pay, a place to start to break the entitlement cycle? Or is he so Asperger/Rad/Odd/depressed that it only sends him deeper into gridlock? Thanks, S. `````````````````````````````````````` With respect to Aspergers, while not everyone on the autism spectrum has trouble getting and staying organized, many have a tough time creating a comfortable place to live. Some Aspergers people have difficulty managing all the tasks that go into maintaining a home. What has to be done first? Where do you begin? Aspergers people may also have trouble sorting different objects in the home. For example, they may not realize that the enormous pile of "stuff" on the bed can be broken down into separate piles of clothes, books, papers, and trash, and therefore managed more easily. It may be difficult to sort and control things that arrive in the home, with newspapers winding up all over the place and packages left...

Hi Mr. Hutten, I am finding your program for out of control kids helpful. The pieces around self reliance and dependency are quite timely as I see the reluctance and regression of my 17 yo son as he completes his junior year of high school and begins to think about college, pg years etc. Thankfully our son has not been in much trouble. But I find his disrespect for adults (especially me) and his lack of motivation most difficult. I suspect we have fostered this in him by making home too comfortable. Hopefully I/we can make some progress with your strategies and eliminating free handouts. I am writing to ask about foul language. It seems to appear when he's angry or frustrated. I have made it clear to him that I find it intolerable. So I'm wondering, is this simply a symptom of the deeper rooted problems which I am working on addressing, and so I should simply ignore it or is it something I should address head on? Hope to hear from you. Thanks. T. ````````...

Dear Mr. Hutten: I am at wits end about my teenage daughter. I just recently found a notebook that her and her girlfriend have been passing back and forth. She wrote to her girlfriend that a boy she likes asked her for a blowjob do you think he is using me. She is only 12 yrs old she will be 13 in May. I have talked to her continuously regarding that oral sex is sex and all the STD's she could possibly get from this behavior. She said she didn't do anything swears up and down she didn't but the rumor spread around school and also came back to me. Please help me on how to deal with this problem. I can't sleep at night thinking she could possibly do something like this. All the conversations I have had with her thinking I could prevent that she would not get involved with this behavior hasn't worked. I can't trust her anymore. I don't let her run the streets like other children do, I just can't believe this is happening, I am so afraid of what t...

Mark My son (16) is settling back at home fine now but he keeps on pushing some limits. Although he is not shouting at me or throwing things or going out at the moment, he will not listen to the little things. For example, I said I would pay for his summer ball if he cleaned the following rooms for me in the house and he chose 3 task cards. However, some of the details on the task cards he has not completed and the deadline which was set for him on Wednesday last week was to complete all 3 by Saturday night. He completed 1 full, the 2nd (75%) and left out the last (3rd) as it was to sweep up the front lawn. He said he would do that at night so no one could watch him (neighbours). The consequence for not completing all 3 was that I could cancel the cheque on Monday. Question: Should I go through with cancelling the cheque tomorrow now. Overall he is behaving much better this past week and there has been nothing but politeness from him and a good mood. Is this what you would...

Mark- The problem I have with my 15 yr old daughter is that she also keeps holding a lot of anger especially with her Dad. He has been in and out a few times, either way he has been here now since last July and she still gives him a hard time. Right now I am going to be doing this on my own for now. They are not speaking at the moment. Can I implement this on my own anyway? He knows I am going to attempt it so I don't think he will interfere with it. I hope they will get back to speaking to each other soon. I think the resentment, anger and forgiveness are difficult for the 2 of them. Thanks, S. ````````````````````````````````` Hi S., About 90% of OPS members are single moms -- so yes, you can implement this on your own (and you're in good company). Mark Online Parent Support

Hello Mr. Hutten, This is G__ from New Jersey writing you again. I joined your online support group this evening and I'm finding it very informative. It's now around 11:18pm and I'm still going through the videos and information for week one. I feel that it's that important. I already feel a sense of control, especially after taking the parent quiz. What an eye opener! I signed our son up for school counseling this week, prior to joining the online group. I almost wish that I had waited. Hopefully our son will understand that we love him and want only the best for him. Since he is adopted, we know that he has so many questions and at times feels lost. I think that we over compensated for everything.....this is a part of life and this too will run its course. I look forward to participating in the online groups and getting the CD. It's a lot to absorb....but I feel that it is truly worth the investment. Thank you and I look forward to communicating with you...

My son talked to me last night about his future life plans and your program has helped him discover that he really is afraid of growing up and having to become more responsible for himself and his needs. He discussed the fact that he didn't feel ready to go away from home to attend college, but would rather get his feet wet at our community college and stay at home for 2 yrs. before transferring to a big school. He admitted that he knows he's been spoiled by me and that he has to learn to take on his own responsibilities, but the fear is there. What a breakthrough for him. I told him I would support whatever decisions he made as long as they were realistic and he was committed. Knowing/trusting I am here as a safety net has made him feel more confident in moving forward with his life. I think becoming 18 (in Oct.) came a lot quicker than he realized. I know it did for me. I believe because of working your program, just in the nick of time, it has really gotten him to look at hi...