ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Want to know how to be the best parent that any child could have? Here are the secrets to positive parenting in a nutshell: 1.        Listen 2.        Praise 3.        Gain compliance 4.        Use effective consequences 5.        Have family meetings 6.        Create win-win solutions 7.        Build your child’s self-esteem Now let’s look at each of these individually… 1. Listen-- The most valuable gift you can give your youngster is to listen to the little and big things in her life. Begin early so that the lines of communication will be open during the adolescent years: Stop what you are doing. Look at your youngster. Pay attention to your youngster's nonverbal language (e.g., does the youngster look happy, sad, or afrai...

Have you ever been to a friend's house, the Mall, or a restaurant and witnessed a very disturbing parent-child interaction that caused you to have the thought, “Oh my God …that parent should be arrested!” or something similar? Unfortunately, there are a lot of good people out there who are just plain “bad” parents. And here’s how they do it… 12 ways to be the best “bad” parent out there: Bad Parenting Method #1: Don’t build strong bonds . Corrective Measures: If you want your youngster to be more cooperative, change your focus from improving him to improving your relationship. When you dwell on the ways he's misbehaving, it just discourages both of you (you feel like a bad parent, and he feels as if he can't do anything right). Besides, all that energy you're using to correct him could be channeled into something more uplifting and effective. So try to give him positive feedback several times a day (i.e., a specific compliment on something you see him...

Teenagers smoke, take drugs, have unprotected sex and ride with drunk drivers, not because they think they are invulnerable or haven't thought about the risks. In fact, they are more likely to ponder the risks, take longer weighing the pros and cons of engaging in high-risk behavior than grown-ups, and actually overestimate the risks. It's just that they often decide the benefits (e.g., the immediate gratification, peer acceptance, etc.) outweigh the risks. While grown-ups scarcely think about engaging in many high-risk behaviors because they intuitively grasp the risks, teenagers take the time to mull-over the risks and benefits. In other words, more experienced decision-makers tend to rely more on fuzzy reasoning, processing situations and problems as a “general idea” rather than weighing multiple factors. On the other hand, emergency room doctors (for example) make better decisions by processing less information and making sharper black-and-white distinctions among...

When moms and dads avoid disputes and disagreements at all cost with their adolescent (i.e., they do anything and everything to keep the peace), they are ignoring some of the greatest teaching moments they will ever have. Disagreement in and of itself is not what produces change for the better – it is how we, as parents, respond to it. Disagreement can be a force for good in families, but only if it is dealt with properly. The way we react can either deepen the relationship with our teens – or it can tear it down. Most children simply want to know that they are being heard! Refusing to understand this principle and shutting-down any form of disagreement or conflict can build a wall between the two of you. Also, walls can build-up when you belittle your adolescent’s thoughts and feelings. The issue may seem like a small or “black and white” deal to you, but it could be confusing and all-encompassing to them. You can say something like, “I think I understand what you are saying, ...

Teen : “School sucks. I’m not going anymore!” Mother : “What!?”  Teen : “I hate school …I quit!!” Mother : “You can’t just quit, Michael!!”  Teen : “Why not? People quit and get a GED all the time!!!” Mother : “You have to finish high school. You don’t want to work at McDonald’s the rest of your life.” Teen : “Whatever… I'm quitting, and you can't stop me.” Whether your adolescent is being bullied at school or is struggling with classes, dropping-out of school should never be an option. Statistically speaking, high school drop-outs earn approximately $260,000 less than those who have their diploma and cost the U.S. over $319 billion in lost wages over the course of the drop-out’s lifetime. High school drop-outs often struggle to find happiness because, in most cases, career choices are relegated to low-income jobs with no advancement. The best way to keep an adolescent in school is through support, motivation and letting him/her see firsthand what would happen...

"Any ideas on how to deal with a 7 y.o. son who does not do what he's told to do - even with the simplest of requests? He's the youngest of 4, and by far the most stubborn." You have just told your youngster to do something (e.g., “Michael, turn off the TV and get ready for bed”), and he blatantly responds with something like, “No” or “You can’t make me.” When defiant kids say, “You can’t make me,” they are asserting their control and challenging yours. They are silently hoping that you will rise to the challenge and try to control them. Like it or not, they are right. Parents can’t make children do anything against their will. These kids are also upping the ante by challenging parents to come up with some consequence that will mean something to them. The “test” is to show parents their own powerlessness, and these kids will often laugh in the face of any consequences parents might use, even if at a later time they might wish they hadn’t. ==> My Ou...

Scenario: Kylee is 16-years-old. Her parents are divorced. She spends the weekends with her dad and stepmother. Unfortunately, her biological parents are not on the same page with respect to parenting styles and disciplinary techniques. Her mom is rather permissive (i.e., few rules, few consequences for breaking rules), but her dad is somewhat authoritarian (i.e., a lot of rules, serious punishment for breaking the rules). One day before dinner, Kylee’s dad says, “Put your cell phone away. We don’t text while we eat!” Kylee’s retort is, “I don’t have to follow that rule …that’s not a rule at our house (mother’s house). I text whenever I want to at home!” Then the arguing and yelling between father and daughter begins! You know the rest of the story… Defiant teens know the value of playing their parents against each other. They learned a long time ago that just because dad has said “no” doesn’t mean mom won’t say “yes.” Many defiant teens of divorced parents constantly ...

 "We suspect our teen son has been pilfering my sleep medication (along with a couple other prescriptions). How should we approach this... we have no solid proof as of yet." This is not an uncommon problem. You, the parent of an unruly teenager, may inadvertently be a big source of prescription medications he/she is using behind your back. More often than not, medicine cabinets are your teen’s “go-to” spot of choice. A whopping 61% of adolescents report that prescription medications are easier to get than illegal medications, and 41% of adolescents mistakenly believe use of medicines is less dangerous than use of illegal street medications. One out of every two Americans is on prescription drugs. So these medications are readily available. People think they're safe because they're prescribed by a physician, and more adolescents are turning to the medicine cabinet to get their medications of choice. Here are the five classes of prescription medications tee...