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Will your son or daughter be starting middle school in the fall? If so, then be sure to read this: During the past 20 years, many changes have taken place in how young teens are taught. These changes continue as we learn more about how these kids develop and learn. Today, fewer and fewer young teens attend junior highs. Instead, a growing number attend middle schools. Most of these schools are for grades 6–8 (although some may have grades 5–8, 5–7 or even 7–8). As the middle school movement has accelerated, many high schools have moved from serving grades 10–12 to grades 9–12. As a mother or father, you may wonder, "Is one grade structure better than another for my youngster?” Most teachers believe (and research verifies) that the way a school organizes the grades is not as important as what goes on inside the school (i.e., what gets taught and how it gets taught). Additionally, the grade span of a school doesn't tell you much about the quality of the school and whe...

It's hard to understand the world of young teenagers without considering the huge impact on their lives of the mass media. It competes with families, friends, schools and communities in its ability to shape adolescents' interests, attitudes and values. The mass media infiltrates their lives. Most young teenagers watch TV and movies, surf the Internet, exchange e-mails, and listen to radio stations that target them with music and commercials and read articles and ads in adolescent magazines. However, look on the bright side. The new media technologies can be fun and exciting. Used wisely, they can also educate.  Good TV programs can inform, good music can comfort, and good movies can expand interests and unlock mysteries. Additionally, many forms of media are being used in classrooms today; computers and cell phones are all part of the landscape. Indeed, recent years have seen a commitment to connecting every classroom to the Internet and providing a reasonable number ...

Friendships can affect many areas of children’s lives (e.g., grades, how they spend their time, what clubs they join, how they behave in public places, etc.). Youngsters who have trouble forming friendships are more likely to: do poorly in school drop out get involved in delinquent behavior have poor self-esteem suffer from a range of psychological problems as grown-ups Kids of all ages need to feel that they “fit in.” As kids approach the teenage years, the need to be "one of the gang" is stronger than at any other age. Friendships become closer and more important and play a key part in allowing children and young teens to sort out who they are and where they're headed. They are likely to form small groups or cliques, each with a special identity (e.g., jocks, brains, preppies, geeks, etc.). Many moms and dads worry that their kids’ friends will become so influential in their lives that their own roles will diminish. They worry still more that their kids...

Young adolescents (13 – 15 years of age) often feel inadequate. They have new bodies and developing minds, and their relationships with peers and parents are in flux. They understand for the first time that they aren't good at everything. The changes in their lives may take place more rapidly than their ability to adjust to them. Poor self-esteem often peaks in the early teenage years, and then improves during middle and late adolescence. At any age, however, a lack of confidence can be a serious problem, for example: Young adolescents with poor self-esteem can be lonely, awkward with others, and sensitive to criticism and with what they see as their shortcomings. Young adolescents with low confidence are less likely to join in activities and form friendships. This isolates them further and slows their ability to develop a better self-image. When they do make friends, they are more vulnerable to negative peer pressure. Some younger teenagers who lack confidence hold bac...

As kids enter the teenage years, they often beg for more freedom. Moms and dads walk a tightrope between (a) wanting their kids to be confident and able to do things for themselves and (b) knowing that the world can be a scary place with threats to their kid’s health and safety. Some moms and dads allow too much of the wrong kind of freedom, or they offer freedom before the teen is ready to accept it. Other moms and dads cling too tightly, denying young adolescents both the responsibilities they require to develop maturity and the opportunities they need to make choices and accept their consequences. Research tells us that teenagers do best when they remain closely connected to their moms and dads, but at the same time, are allowed to have their own points of view – and even to disagree with their mother or father. Here are 10 crucial parenting tips to help you balance closeness and independence: 1. Teenagers look to their moms and dads first and foremost in shaping their ...

"My teenage daughter has stopped talking to us. She just shuts us out. What can I do to get her to open up?" Teenagers often aren't great communicators, particularly with their moms and dads and other grown-ups who love them. Adolescents often feel they can talk with anyone better than their mother or father. They tend to be private, and don't necessarily want to tell parents what they did at school today. Many psychologists have found, however, that when moms and dads know where their kids are and what they are doing (and when the teen knows the parent knows), teens are at a lower risk for a range of problems (e.g., drug, alcohol and tobacco use; sexual behavior and pregnancy; delinquency and violence, etc.). The key is to be inquisitive – but not interfering. Work to respect your youngster's privacy as you establish trust and closeness. It's easiest to communicate with an adolescent if you established this habit when your youngster was little. You don...

Moms and dads often become less involved in the lives of their kids as they enter the middle grades. But your child needs as much attention and love from you as she needed when she was younger—and maybe more.    A good relationship with parents is the best safeguard the youngster has as she grows and explores. By the time she reaches the teenage years, you and she will have had years of experience with each other. The mother or father of today's little girl is also the parent to tomorrow's teen. Your relationship with your youngster will almost certainly change after elementary school. In fact, most parents report that their child's behavior changed drastically (for the worse) once he or she entered the 7th grade. But, these changes can be rewarding and welcome if treated appropriately.    ==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents with Difficult Preteens and Teens   As your middle school youngster makes mental and emotional leaps, your conversations...

Throughout our lives we grow and change, but during the preteen years, the rate of change is especially evident. We consider 11-year-olds to be kids, but we think of 16-year-olds as "almost adults" – a huge leap that happens in the space of only 5 years. We welcome the changes, but we also find them a bit challenging. When kids are younger, it is easier to predict when a change might take place and how rapidly. But by the preteen years, the relationship between a youngster’s real age and his developmental milestones grows weaker. Just how preteens develop can be influenced by many things (e.g., genes, families, friends, neighborhoods, values, etc.). Cognitive Changes— The cognitive or mental changes that take place in the preteen years may be less easy to see, but they can be just as dramatic as physical and emotional changes. During adolescence, most teenagers make large leaps in the way they think and reason and learn. Younger kids need to see and touch things to b...

Have you ever heard of “Raves”?   Raves are high energy, all-night parties that feature hard pounding techno-music and flashing laser lights. They are found in most urban areas and, increasingly, in rural areas throughout the country. The dances are held in clubs, abandoned warehouses, open fields, or empty buildings. Raves are frequently advertised as “alcohol/drug-free” dances with hired security personnel. However, they are dangerously over crowded events where your teenager can be exposed to rampant drug abuse and a high-crime environment. Numerous overdoses are documented at these dances. Raves are one of the most popular events where “club drugs” are distributed. Club drugs include Ecstasy, Meth and LSD – just to name a few. Because some of these club drugs are colorless, odorless, and tasteless, they can be added without detection to drinks (e.g., punch, root beer) by people who want to intoxicate or sedate others in order to commit sexual assaults. Rave promoters ...

Every little thing seems to set your teenage daughter off lately, and the more you try to help, the more she yells and slams her bedroom door. So, for the fatigued mothers and fathers out there, h ere are some tips for parenting teenage girls who seem to always be in crisis mode: 1. Become informed about today’s adolescent girl culture and issues (e.g., pressure toward sexual activity, oral or otherwise). 2. Don't try to minimize here multiple crisis episodes by saying something like, “One day you'll see how silly you have been acting.” Just listen and empathize. Part of being a teenage girl is feeling things intensely, so what may seem like no big deal to you is very important to her. Put yourself in her position, because after all, you were once there yourself. 3. Endeavor to remember how being 16 was for you. Did you feel ugly, fat, or lonely? Did you feel like your parents simply did not “understand”? 4. Figure out how to rescue your daughter from the...

Self-injury among teens is common – and the rate is increasing. This behavior is more common in adolescence than previously thought. Although it is important to assess the associated risk of suicide, self-injury is generally used to cope with distressing emotions, especially anger and depression. Many therapists have encountered teens that have harmed themselves, but denied suicidal intent. Recent studies have found that one-third to one-half of teens in the U.S. have engaged in some type of self-harm. Self-harming behavior is a considerable problem for therapists, not only because of the obvious danger of the client harming himself/herself, but also because of the difficulties in ascertaining whether the teen was trying to commit suicide. Self-injury intended to inflict pain on oneself most commonly includes the following: Banging walls Breaking bones Burning Cutting Hitting Ingesting toxic substances Interfering with healing of wounds Pinching Punching objects to i...