ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Every year there are tragedies in which kids shoot and kill classmates and teachers after making threats. When this occurs, everyone asks, "How could this happen?" Most threats made by kids or teens are not carried out – it’s just the youngster's way of talking tough, getting attention, or a reaction to a perceived hurt. But in too many cases, the threats are clear “red flags” for impending tragedy. Mental health professionals agree that it is very difficult to predict a youngster's future behavior with complete accuracy. However, there are certain indicators that parents and teachers should be on the look-out for. What are the red flags that may indicate a disaster-in-the-making?   The presence of one or more of the following increases the risk of violent or dangerous behavior: a pattern of threats access to guns or other weapons  being a victim of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse or neglect blaming others and being unwilling to accept responsibil...

While parenthood brings much joy, pride and personal growth, it can also bring a lot of challenges, and these challenges can take a toll on single mothers. Research shows that single moms have significantly higher levels of depression than married couples or those who do not have kids, and in many cases, the depression doesn’t go away when the children grow up and move out of the house! Researchers believe that this is because mothers still worry about their kids and how they’re getting along in the world throughout their lives (e.g., their adult child’s employment problems, marital conflicts, financial difficulties, etc.). To make matters worse, many single moms are often relatively socially isolated and don’t always have support from the community – or even their extended family. If you have kids, and you are raising them with little or no help from their father, you've probably experienced your share of parenting stress. Thus, it’s time that you fully comprehend that ...

“My 17 year old son wants me to sign him out of school so he can try and get his GED. He is supposed to be a senior this year but is actually only a second semester freshman in high school. He only passed the first semester of school last year and failed everything the second one. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. He refuses to do anything unless he wants to. He refuses to go to school and has been reported to the court system. At this point, I’m beginning to think that a GED would be the best route to go. So my question is how can I help him prepare for the GED?” Passing the GED test requires knowing basic information such as math, English, and reading along with a few others subjects. If you feel strongly that it would be in your son's best interest to withdraw from high school and pursue a GED, then by all means, go with your gut instinct. There's no shame in going that route! Here are ten tips for helping your son prepare for the ...

When it comes to defiant teens and homework, I recommend that moms and dads avoid getting involved. Homework is your teen’s job, not yours. It’s common for a mother or father (with good intentions) to supervise their teen’s homework on a nightly basis, making sure that every assignment is done accurately and on time.    Oftentimes, they actually “go back to class” themselves, reading the books and trying to learn about the subject so that they can tutor their teenager – and in some cases, they even do the homework for their child. If you take more responsibility for homework than your teenager does, he will never want to do it. Conversely, the less responsibility you take, the more he will take (eventually). It’s an ownership issue. And the paradoxical approach to helping your teen to do HIS work is for you to “let go.” Less is better. Tips for shifting homework responsibilities from the parent to the child: 1. Be creative. Sometimes homework battles need some creati...

Another school year is quickly coming to a close. What is your high school senior planning to do next? Anything? If not, uh oh! Shame on you. Preparing your child for high school graduation and then college should begin long before the senior year of high school. Adolescents who are still juniors should give some thought to finishing high school and preparing for higher education or a career. Here are some tips that moms and dads (who may have procrastinated up to this point) can use to help their adolescents ensure a timely and complete high school graduation, and then prepare for college: 1. First of all, preparing an adolescent for high school graduation and then college is not something that can be done in a month or a year. It is something that moms and dads should begin thinking about - and planning for - emotionally and physically as soon as their teenager is ready. By offering the teen an opportunity for growth and responsibility, parents will find that as college appr...

Moms and dads are often shocked that defiant behaviors can rise during and after spring break week. Even though the break has its value, there is also a sense of grief at its ending. So, don't be surprised if your child has a hard time getting his or her academic motors started again. Defiant behavior often comes in waves. If spring has brought on a bad case of "bad" behavior in your youngster, here are some possible explanations – and what to do about them: 1. Your youngster may not have the body awareness or language skills necessary to explain to you about the tingle in his nose or the pressure in his sinuses, but the light-headedness and "spacey" feeling that often accompanies allergies may leave your child feeling distracted and disoriented. If itchy eyes, sniffles or headaches accompany the onset of defiant behavior in your home, check with your doctor about the possibility of an allergy diagnosis. 2. As your child’s spring fever continues to b...

Even the most insightful mother or father makes mistakes when it comes to raising children – especially preschoolers who are at the age where they begin to assert their independence for the first time (similar to when they become teenagers). You can't erase your worst parenting moments, but with some introspection, you can keep from repeating them. Even “parenting experts” who are also parents themselves admit that they have moments when they wish they could have hit rewind on their parental performances. It may seem like your defiant preschooler has the innate ability to push you to the outer edge of sanity. Fear not – you're not alone. Preschoolers want to own their newly discovered autonomy, but they also want the close attention and love of their parents.  Here are 12 common mistakes that moms and dads of preschoolers make – and some clever fixes to help resolve problems: Mistake #1— Be inconsistent: Few things can confuse your defiant preschooler more tha...

Defiant children are usually raised in homes where limits are too lenient or inconsistent. One or both parents may not be available to give the youngster any attention. The mom or dad may also demonstrate defiant behavior.  Do you lean more toward the lenient side? Are your rules often inconsistent? Do you have little time to spend with your child? Do you get angry with your child (e.g., yell, nag). If so, then you are on the right track for making defiant behavior worse. Below are some more ideas... 10 tips for making defiant behavior worse: Add more and more consequences. Don’t follow through with consequences and try to be inconsistent. Engage in confrontation in front your child’s peers or siblings. Fight every parent-child battle that comes along, regardless of how big or small the problem is. Get annoyed at every little thing your child does wrong. Let power-struggles go on for a long time. Lose your temper (e.g., yell or use sarcasm to escalate the probl...

Severe aggression can a problem for kids with both normal development, and those with psychosocial disturbances. There is no single theory about the causes of severe aggressive behavior in children. Some theorists believe it is innate or instinctive, others suggest the breakdown in commonly shared values, changes in traditional family patterns of child-rearing, and social isolation lead to severe aggression. Aggressive behavior may be intentional or unintentional. Many hyperactive, clumsy kids are accidentally aggressive, but their intentions are compassionate. Kids in all age groups learn that aggressive behavior is a powerful way to communicate their wishes or deal with their likes and dislikes. In any event, here are some ideas on how parents can teach their aggressive children to exercise more self-control: 1. As the parent, don’t react aggressively to your child’s aggression. It’s easy to become outraged at an abusive, violent youngster – especially an older one who proba...

Almost 750,000 adolescents become pregnant each year in the United States. Fifty-nine percent of those pregnancies result in birth. Some adolescent mothers are often left with little support from friends, family and the dad of the youngster. Government agencies, charities and foundations have put together programs that involve housing, food resources and mentoring so that adolescent mothers and their kids can have the best start possible. Some of these are listed below: WIC, or Women, Infants and Children, is a government-sponsored program run through the Food and Nutrition Service that is operated on the state level to offer quality food to low income families. Adolescent mothers can apply for items such as formula, milk and basic food items through the state. WIC also offers breastfeeding and nutrition resources, health care and other support through their agencies. WIC conducts periodical interviews to ensure the health of the kids and the mom's ongoing need for assistance...

Your teenager is doing poorly – both academically and behaviorally – in high school. And he has just announced that he wants to drop out and get his GED. Given his turbulent history, you are starting to wonder if it might be the better route to go. Sound familiar? Before discussing the specifics of a GED, you need to determine if your teen will be eligible to take the exam. The GED has certain eligibility prerequisites. The student: must meet certain state requirements (varies state to state) must not be currently enrolled in - or have graduated from - high school needs to be age 16 or older If your teen passes the above requirement, the next few paragraphs talk about specifics of the GED. The teen is awarded a GED after she passes every one of the five sections of the GED with a 60 % or higher score than the sample set of graduating high school seniors. The sections are: Language Arts/Reading, Language Arts/Writing, Mathematics, Science and Social Studies. Depending o...

Defiant teens know how to push their parents' buttons. Instinctively, they come with an arsenal of tools to get what they want, avoid getting into trouble, or cause their moms and dads to blow a fuse out of frustration. This is called manipulative behavior. There are smart ways to counteract the manipulation. Below are some important suggestions on what you can do if you have a defiant, manipulative teen. How to Deal with Manipulative Behavior: 1. Agree on strategies to deal with your adolescent's manipulative behavior with your spouse/partner. For example, if you tell your adolescent that she can't go out on a Friday night until she finishes her homework, it will be useless unless your spouse/partner tells her the same thing. If an adolescent does not get her way with one parent, she may go to the weaker parent to get what she wants. 2. Be consistent. Learn to say “no” with some strength behind it when you mean it. If your “no” often becomes a “yes” because your ...