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Most moms and dads don’t understand why their defiant teens behave in an impulsive, irrational, and sometimes dangerous way. At times, it seems like these young people don’t think things through or fully consider the consequences of their actions. They differ from their "normal" peers in the way they behave, solve problems, and make decisions. There is a biological explanation for this difference. Researchers have identified a specific region of the brain called the amygdala, which is responsible for instinctual reactions (e.g., fear, aggressive behavior). This region develops early; however, the frontal cortex (i.e., the area of the brain that controls reasoning and helps us think before we act) develops later. This part of the brain is still changing and maturing well into the early- to mid-twenties. Other specific changes in the brain during the teenage years include a rapid increase in the connections between the brain cells and pruning (i.e., refinement) of brai...

Graduating from high school and planning for life afterwards is an exciting AND challenging time for older teens and their parents. For adolescents with psychiatric diagnoses, it is especially important to plan ahead for a successful "launch” from high school to a university. All universities are different. It is important to investigate the mental health services and other supports available at each university you are considering. Some topics to investigate and consider include: Availability of student advocacy groups and outreach services to support students with special needs Can the psychiatric condition be successfully managed on campus, or will additional community resources be required?  Consider ease of access to off-campus providers How are medical and counseling services paid for? Does a student fee cover everything or is your insurance accepted?  The availability of a Counseling Center, Student Health Services, and off-campus mental health resources ...

Let’s be honest here: parenting a defiant, disrespectful teenager can take its toll on any parent, leaving him or her flustered and on edge - day after day - with no relief in sight. After all, a person can only take so much abuse before “cracking.” Anger is a natural emotion, but when it escalates to rage, the result is similar to throwing gas on a fire; it can turn an average argument between parent and child into a “war of wills.” When dealing with your "difficult" teenager, do you find that your fuse is getting shorter and shorter? Have arguments and fights simply become “a way of life”? Studies have shown that teenagers whose parents often express rage are more likely to be difficult to discipline. So, it will be in your best interest to be in more control of your emotions. Here’s how to accomplish this feat… How parents can control anger and rage against their defiant teens: 1. Assertiveness training is particularly helpful if you are a person who bottles up r...

“I'm at my wits end with my 16-year old daughter. She lies constantly and not just about big things--- small things too. If I keep asking questions when things don't add up and only when she knows she's busted, she'll finally admit to it. She's very convincing when she's lying because she says it so matter-of-factly and initially when caught, she'll begin an Oscar-winning performance declaring her innocence. :eyeroll: I've tried so many things like taking away TV, phone and computer, adding extra chores, having her write sentences of repetition or writing me reports on honesty – but NOTHING is working! I've explained the repercussions to her that when someone lies all the time, they are not considered trustworthy and people will begin to doubt everything that person says. I told her that her friends may even start to doubt what she says at times. (sigh) I'm totally out of ideas! I would really appreciate any suggestions.” If you are raisin...

About 16% of high school kids carried a weapon at least once during the 30 days before they were surveyed. Also, about 7% reported that they have been threatened or injured with a weapon. Many different factors cause aggressive behavior. The more these factors are present in your life, the more likely you are to commit an act of aggression. What causes someone to punch, kick, stab or fire a gun at other people? There is never a simple answer to that question. But teens often commit aggression because of one or more of the following: Aggression is a learned behavior. Like all learned behaviors, it can be changed. This isn't easy, though. Since there is no single cause of aggression, there is no one simple solution. The best you can do is learn to recognize the “red flags” (i.e., warning signs) of aggression and to get help when you see them in your peers or yourself. Some teens use aggression to release emotions of rage or frustration. They think there are no answers to th...

Aside from juggling households and visitation, the one thing that seems to cause a stepson or stepdaughter the most difficulty is the stepparent’s attempts to “act as” a biological parent. However, since step relationships (especially new ones) are usually complicated and fraught with conflict, it can be almost impossible for a stepparent to refrain from disciplining the stepson or stepdaughter. After all, most stepkids test the stepparent’s limits to the max, trying to see how far they can push until the stepparent breaks. The question is how to deal with it? Here are some crucial tips for stepparents: 1. Your stepkids are dealing with their own feelings of loss, anger, confusion, and resentment about the divorce or remarriage. It may be easy to see their misbehavior as a direct attack on you, but remember that they need space and time to process the changes that have happened in their life. Even biological kids are known to lash out at their moms and dads with an "I h...

Bullies are made, not born. If left unchecked, bullying can lead to serious life-altering consequences. Bullies come in every shape and size. They are from every ethnic group, race, socioeconomic class, gender and religion. As a mother or father, you'll probably be shocked to learn that your youngster is intentionally causing pain and humiliation to other kids. Kids who bully, and continue this behavior as grown-ups, have greater difficulty developing and maintaining positive relationships. Also, they are more likely to experience a decline in their peer-group status, which becomes more and more important in the youngster's social development as he enters adolescence. Research shows that kids who resort to bullying often: Come from families where the mom, dad, or siblings bully Do not receive adequate parental attention or supervision  Have a mom or dad that does not enforce discipline Have low self-esteem Lack empathy and compassion for others' feelings May...

Columbine Shooting Security Camera School shootings are becoming an increasingly common aspect of life. We often hear in the news that there has been another shooting at a school, or a youngster has been arrested for taking a weapon to school. Our schools should be safe havens for teaching and learning – free of crime and violence. Violence on school grounds not only affects all the students and teachers involved, but also severely disrupts the educational process, the school itself, and the surrounding community. School violence is a multi-faceted dilemma, making it difficult for researchers to pinpoint its causes. According to the U.S. Secret Service, there were 37 school shootings between 1974 and 2000. Although this averages less than one per year, statistics indicate that the prevalence of school shootings increases dramatically each decade. Disturbingly, there were 10 school shootings in 2012 – and there were 8 more during January 2013. Unfortunately, the past decade has ...

Every year there are tragedies in which kids shoot and kill classmates and teachers after making threats. When this occurs, everyone asks, "How could this happen?" Most threats made by kids or teens are not carried out – it’s just the youngster's way of talking tough, getting attention, or a reaction to a perceived hurt. But in too many cases, the threats are clear “red flags” for impending tragedy. Mental health professionals agree that it is very difficult to predict a youngster's future behavior with complete accuracy. However, there are certain indicators that parents and teachers should be on the look-out for. What are the red flags that may indicate a disaster-in-the-making?   The presence of one or more of the following increases the risk of violent or dangerous behavior: a pattern of threats access to guns or other weapons  being a victim of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse or neglect blaming others and being unwilling to accept responsibil...

While parenthood brings much joy, pride and personal growth, it can also bring a lot of challenges, and these challenges can take a toll on single mothers. Research shows that single moms have significantly higher levels of depression than married couples or those who do not have kids, and in many cases, the depression doesn’t go away when the children grow up and move out of the house! Researchers believe that this is because mothers still worry about their kids and how they’re getting along in the world throughout their lives (e.g., their adult child’s employment problems, marital conflicts, financial difficulties, etc.). To make matters worse, many single moms are often relatively socially isolated and don’t always have support from the community – or even their extended family. If you have kids, and you are raising them with little or no help from their father, you've probably experienced your share of parenting stress. Thus, it’s time that you fully comprehend that ...