ONLINE PARENTING COACH

The development of a positive self-esteem is extremely important to the happiness and success of adolescents. Self-esteem is how young people feel about themselves – and their behavior clearly reflects those feelings! For example, a teenager with high self-esteem will be able to tolerate frustration, take pride in her accomplishments, attempt new tasks and challenges, handle positive and negative emotions, assume responsibility, and act independently – all the traits that parents want their teens to have!!! 15 steps you can take to help your teen develop high self-esteem (and as a happy bi-product, improve his or her behavior as well): 1.  Help your adolescent learn from her mistakes. Give her constructive criticism when she attempts to resolve a particular problem, because she is taking responsibility and learning from it. When dealing with mistakes, assist your adolescent in identifying the problem, and then brainstorm solutions together. Allowing her to brainstorm with y...

If you're raising a son or daughter on your own, you're in good company. Single-parent families are more common than ever. Child-rearing can be difficult under any circumstances, but without a spouse/partner, the stakes are even higher. As a single mother or father, you probably have sole responsibility for most aspects of day-to-day child-care. This can result in added stress and fatigue. If you're too tired or distracted to be emotionally supportive or consistently discipline your youngster, behavioral problems can arise. Single-parent families also generally have lower incomes and less access to health care. Juggling work and child-care can be financially difficult and socially isolating. You might worry about the lack of a male or female parental role model for your youngster, too. How to reduce stress in your single-parent family: 1. Contradict negative stereotypes about the opposite sex. Share an example of a member of the opposite sex who doesn't fit ...

“Our teenage son is doing K12-online high school. We are seeing problems with him thinking that he is smarter than everyone else, not doing schoolwork because he thinks it is 'dumb', then lying to us when confronted by the bad grades. How should we deal with this lying issue?” One of the perpetual problems that many parents face is lying by their teens. Moms and dads will often personalize this problem and view it as a sign that their teens lack respect for them. Parents may also believe that their parental authority is being undermined when their teens distort the truth. Moms and dads need to understand that all behavior is purposeful, even the habit of lying. Some lying is a common feature of the human experience. Rather than focus on the specific lies told by their teens and the implications of those lies, parents would be well-served in trying to understand the purposes underlying their teen's need to distort the truth. When moms and dads confront their teens ...

While it's natural for adolescents to be somewhat rebellious and have a social life that consists of questionable peers, music, romance and parties, they can also be guarded and mysterious, especially with their moms and dads. Sometimes it takes a little detective work to find out if your adolescent is using drugs. Nearly half of all adolescents will try drugs before they turn 18. Some use marijuana and/or alcohol regularly. A relatively small amount of adolescents are addicted to drugs, but that number is growing. Use the questionnaire below to help decide if your teenage son or daughter is using drugs or alcohol: 1. Are there drastic changes in your teen’s appearance?  This is one of the first cries for attention if that is what she is seeking. 2. Does your teen have altered eating and/or sleeping habits (e.g., poor appetite and insomnia)? Sudden desires for sweets as well as weight loss indicate addictive swings typical of drug use. 3. Does your teen make a number...

“Initially, my husband and I were concerned that our son, Robby, who is 13, did not fit the ‘profile’ of an out-of-control teen. We were motivated to seek outside help and guidance due to the negative attitude we felt we were experiencing with him. This was primarily a ‘talking back’ issue where Robby would continually talk back to us, mutter under his breath, and be purposely rude and disagreeable. Additionally we saw problems of him thinking that he was smarter than everyone else. Any tips for dealing with back talk?” With a little understanding and self-restraint, moms and dads can put a lid on talking back. The reasons for back talk are as varied as the personalities of the kids who use it. The youngster could be hungry, tired, or in a transitional period. But kids who talk back usually do have one thing in common: They're trying to separate from their parents and exercise control over their lives. Behavior Tracking— Moms and dads need to do some behavior tracking: Fo...

Conflict between you and your adolescent shouldn’t come as a surprise. This is the age where she will begin embracing independent thinking. Parent-child conflict isn’t necessarily symptomatic of an unhealthy or unhappy household (unless arguing becomes the standard mode of communication). Family members need to feel free to express their feelings honestly, including airing grievances rather than to repress them. That’s how issues get resolved before small disagreements snowball into more serious problems. However, in order for confrontations to ultimately be productive, everyone needs to observe certain ground rules. As moms and dads, it falls to us to model the behaviors and attitudes conducive to healthy conflict-resolution. Below are 12 tips for talking your way through parent-child conflict: 1. Don't step on your teen’s tongue. It's tempting to dive-in and over-react to something your adolescent just said. Let your teen have the first word! Listen without in...

Is your teenager shutting you out? In other words, she won’t talk to you – and she ignores you when you try to talk to her. You know something is bothering your teen, but she’s not going to tell you what it is. She’s either mad at you or someone else – but in the meantime, you’re getting the cold shoulder. A teenager may use the silent treatment as a way to freeze parents out, to get them to leave her alone, and to push their buttons. What most moms and dads don’t realize is that, under the surface, something else is going on. In general, most silent treatment is an indication of poor communication skills. The teen can’t solve her own problems, and as a result, she becomes resentful toward her parent(s). Some silent treatment indicates an inability to articulate one’s feelings during parent-child conflict. These teens are sometimes referred to as “emotionally shut-down.” Silent treatment intended to inflict emotional punishment is present in the teenager who has “shutdown,” es...

Adolescents, by virtue of their “not fully-developed” brains, typically have poor problem-solving skills. As a result, they struggle in many areas of their lives. When they encounter unfamiliar complications, they may become overwhelmed and unable to resolve problems independently, which often translates into behavioral issues (e.g., back-talk, disrespect, violation of house-rules, etc.). Teenagers encounter so many different problems during adolescence. Tough teenage challenges coupled with poor problem-solving skills often influences teens to act-out in ways they never would if they knew how to solve their dilemmas. They have social problems (e.g., the inability to get along well with certain peers), functional problems (e.g., meeting responsibilities at home or school), and emotional problems (e.g., feeling angry, sad, frustrated or helpless). Many adolescents who lack problem-solving skills will simply try to avoid the problem completely; they will ignore it in hopes that it...

If you're like every other parent, you don't always bond with your teenager. He might create distance between you just at the times when you most long to become closer. He might be busy on the computer, the phone, with his friends, or homework. When you try to talk to him, he doesn't listen, or just leaves the room. He thinks that you are embarrassing, and you don't know how to change that. Despite your best intentions and efforts, creating a meaningful bond with your adolescent isn't always easy. But, you're not alone. A feeling of distance between parent and teenager is a normal part of development, but you don't have to feel like you're losing your son or daughter. By putting in just a little bit of effort, you can re-bond with your adolescent.  Here are some tips to help you bond with your emotionally-distant teenager: 1. Ask your adolescent to teach you how to produce an online photo gallery. Most young people today were raised in the d...

Parenting out-of-control teenagers is a tough job for sure!! And it’s totally understandable when parents fly off the handle because their teens continually exhibit blatant disrespect and hatefulness. But sometimes, we as parents get stuck in a cycle of over-reacting to our teen’s “bad” behavior, which weakens our immune system and tends to make a bad problem worse. One of the best parenting strategies we can employ is to “avoid throwing gas on the fire” by over-reacting in the heat of the moment. This one strategy alone will reduce your parental stress by at least 50%. Do you often: Assume the worst about your teenager’s behavior due to his bad “track record”? Feel alarmed by your uncontrollable reactions to her rude comments and putdowns? Have to apologize for your abrupt actions or words? Lash out when your teen is ill-mannered? Regret things you say in the heat of emotion? Withdraw when parent-child arguments get emotionally overwhelming? If you answered “y...

At some point, you as a parent have probably been involved in a knock-down, drag-out argument with your defiant teenager. Each of you is convinced the other is wrong. Neither of you will back down. You've tried everything to get through to your son or daughter (e.g., ironclad logic, negotiating, yelling louder and longer), but neither side will budge. So, what can parents do when they find themselves in frequent verbal fights with their out-of-control teenagers? Here are 15 parenting tips to help resolve heated arguments with defiant teens: 1. Ask your teen if she would be willing to summarize your position. If she can't, or she hasn't heard it yet, ask if she would be willing to listen to what you have to say now. 2. Don't try to force your teen into admitting they he is wrong. That's the kind of tactic that keeps the argument burning. Genuine agreement will come, when and if it comes. It can't be forced. 3. Enlist the help of a mediator (e.g.,...

"I get so frustrated with my rebellious 13-year-old son - and often lose my temper! You can’t leave him alone for a minute without problems of some sort (won’t go into all that here though). Am I a bad mother? How can I avoid over-reacting like this? I know I'm throwing gas on the fire!!" Most moms lose their temper with their teens from time to time. It's OK to feel angry …just don’t take it out on your son. If you feel angry with your son almost every day or have trouble controlling your temper, get some help. There's no shame in that! Start by talking to your family doctor. Also, there are groups that can help moms, too. You can join our support group here: ==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents When you get frustrated and upset, give yourself a break (rather than getting angry, and then feeling guilty for getting angry). Everyone needs a break from being a parent once in a while. If you have another adult in your family, take turns getting a...