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 Living with a defiant child can be a challenging and complex experience, with daily life feeling like a never-ending struggle. What may start as minor issues can quickly escalate into major conflicts, causing significant stress and emotional turmoil for the entire family.  Parents can often feel overwhelmed and uncertain about how to handle the situation, leading to feelings of helplessness and frustration. The key is to understand the underlying causes of their defiance and use techniques that are tailored to their individual needs. Setting clear boundaries and expectations is an important first step in managing defiant behavior. Children need to understand what is expected of them, and having clear rules in place can help reduce the likelihood of negative behavior. Using positive reinforcement, such as praising and rewarding good behavior, can also be an effective tool in encouraging positive habits. ==> Join Online Parent Support   Offering choices within reasonabl...

When your teenager wants to argue with you as a parent, it's important to approach the situation with patience and understanding. Teenagers are at a stage in their lives where they are trying to assert their independence and challenge authority, and it's natural for them to want to argue with their parents. However, as a parent, it's crucial that you handle these situations with care to maintain a healthy and respectful relationship with your teen. Firstly, it's important to listen to your teen's perspective and validate their feelings. This doesn't mean that you have to agree with everything they say, but it does mean that you need to show empathy and respect for their point of view. Try to understand where they are coming from and acknowledge their concerns. This can go a long way in building trust and rapport with your teen. Validating your teenager's feelings is an important aspect of building trust and strengthening your relationship with them. It invol...

  Hi B., == > I’ve responded throughout your email below: Hi Mark Thanks for the quick response to my queries..I am now having a few more... I told L___ that I realised I had made mistakes etc this morning and she flew off the handle so aggressively telling me that I couldn't change things now and that she would not change no matter what etc etc.. == > This is to be expected. I managed to remain relatively calm, at least externally but on the inside i left the room and proceeded over the next hour to experience a pretty intense emotional meltdown... it felt like a combination of guilt for the past, pain and anger at having such a difficult child and fear that it was all too much and that things were never going to change... I am thinking that perhaps it is quite natural to feel a deep emotional reaction to all this shift..?? ==> Join Online Parent Support    == > That’s correct. People don’t like change, because change gets them out of their comfort zone. Plus...

Mark, I have been putting your principles into practise for a few months now and everything was going well until my sons best friend came back into his life big time. His girlfriend dropped him two weeks ago and he had been kicked out of both his mothers and fathers house because they cannot live with his behaviour any more, this child has uncontrollable tempers and word around the place is he is on steroids. How do I get my son back on track and to accept that his friend is a bad egg. He stayed out all night because I was mad with him, he is not responding to the consequences unless I change them. He is now 17 and I know he would be scared if I really threw him out, but I am scared if it backfires. If I call the police when he stays out, is this not going to backfire and make him so wild with me? What normally happens in this case? Can you give some advice? ~ L. ````````````````````````` Hi L., Re:   …son’s best friend. Peer pressure is a very potent force, but its influence is v...

"I would like some guidelines on setting up clear rules. My 15 year old son constantly yells, belittles his younger brother and basically tries to defy or argue when I ask him to anything. He certainly sets the mood for the house. I found it harder to stay in control and feel I am at wits end. He doesnt worry about his appearance and I constantly remind him of basic hygiene. He lacks motivation at school, football relationships at school always seem to be a drama. He seems to be closer to girls and does not seem to be able to form close relationships with boys. Has quit his part time job. Doesnt seem to be passionate about anything. He often tells me how he wants to leave and live with anyone but me. My husband has been ill with Leukaemia and suffers with the complications of the treatment. It has impacted our life for the past three years. Upsets me that he is so angry and not happy. I would like him be responsible for the cleanliness of his room, his appearance and speak nicely ...

"Hello Mark, Well his grade 12 graduation is this week-end. He is not able to “walk the stage” as he did not get his credits required. Natural consequence of not attending school and not getting his work done. He is still planning to go in a limo with his friends and attend the banquet with his girlfriend. My husband says we should not attend any of the grad events, however, will our son ever forgive us for being the only parents not there? We have tried to talk him out of going but is insisting he wants to. Please advise whether we, as the parents, should be “celebrating” a grad event when he is not technically graduating.  Thank you Mark. ~ S." `````````````````````````` Hi S., Re: Please advise whether we, as the parents, should be "celebrating" a grad event when he is not technically graduating. Great question! Should you be celebrating? No. There's nothing to celebrate, unless you want to celebrate lack of credits. Should you attend at least on...

  Hi Mark, Another question from Australia (I have SO many questions)! M__ and I are in the process of starting up some chores and allowing A__ to earn some money from the non-mandatory ones. We thought we'd have a rule where the mandatory ones had to be done first and then there would be the capacity to earn money from other chores. If the mandatory ones are not done, then there is no pocket money for the week. Is this OK? Can we put a caveat on her spending like no lollies, fizzy drinks or junk food-her behavior is so much worse if she has these things-she can buy books, toys clothes or save some for example?   ==> Join Online Parent Support Also, what happens if we have bad behavior during the week-can we tie it all in together-bad behavior, no money or is that a separate issue of consequences? A__ was so awful the other night-she had the most amazing temper tantrum and was kicking me and M__ had to restrain her-she is getting too big for me-at the age of 8...