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I would tell him/her exactly what you just wrote in this email:
"I know something is bothering you, and I know you don't want to talk about it. That's O.K. ...I still love you, but I can't allow you to _______________ [here describe exactly what his/her disrespect looks like to you] without any consequences."
...then simply use "The Art of Saying Yes" ..."The Art of Saying No" ...and the strategy "When You Want Something From Your Kid" ...all of which are outlined in the eBook.
Mark