ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Hi M., I’ve responded to each of your points in turn below. Please look for these arrows: >>>>> Anyway, I would like to know if you could provide some guidance as to how to approach our current issues with our older 17-year-old son. He will be 18 in January. We have actually tried going to a psychologist last year with no real progress. To make matters worse he and his father do not have a good relationship because my son says he always picks on him. Actually, he has always tried to steer him in the right direction and on three previous occasions his father has been very supportive but obviously very upset with his behaviour. He has been living away from home since April with his girlfriend with several friends or girlfriends family with no positive outcomes. All have asked them to leave. They both have no jobs or money. They are involved in stealing whenever it is necessary. Both are using cannabis and alcohol. My son has actually physically abused girlfriend I ...

Hi K., I responded to each of your questions in turn below. Please look for the arrows: >>>>>>>>>>>>> I have done a first 'read through' your ebook. It is very good and I can see that it is going to be very helpful. But I have a few first thoughts about ideas that weren't expanded enough for me. For example, in you session #3 assignment section you used an example of a child cleaning his room, however this is not an accurate example for me of how these conversations go. In our home: The parent notices the room is still a mess, says your example.... then the child responds "what's the matter with my room, it looks clean enough to me?".... where does the parent go from here. Because although I have shown my son the standard repeatedly, chores ALWAYS end up in a fight for this very reason - he refuses to do the job properly then gets angry and demands to know what the matter with the job he's done. Initi...

"Dear Mark, I also have one disagreement with my husband. My son doesn't do any chores around the house and my husband also waits on him hand and foot (e.g., bringing him bowls of cereal while he is watching TV). My son is 14 years and could quite easily get his own cereal. I refuse to do this except when he is running late in the morning. He thinks that I am being mean in not waiting on him, but I think that he is old enough to do this himself. What are your views on this? Regards, G." ___________ Hi G., As you may know from reading my e-book, “self-reliance” is key. We want our kids to develop self-reliance. How? By setting up a system where they have to earn their material items and activities (stuff and freedom). We help our children purchase material things with their own money (e.g., from an allowance, money earned by doing chores, money earned from their place of employment, etc.). And, we help our children earn freedom (e.g., by following r...

Mark, Thank you so much for the opportunity to have access to the Online Parent Support book. As I am sure you already have realised, my husband and I are no different than any of the other parents I have been reading about. We have "tried everything" with our 14 year old ODD out of control son and it seems to be getting worse as each day goes by. I am the step-mother (wicked, in his eyes) and my husband and I have custody of him and his younger sister. They go to stay with their mother and step-father every other weekend. Their mother walked out on them when my step-son was 5 and my step-daughter was barely 2, so my husband raised them alone until he and I married 2 years later. My husband and I sat down last night and were able to go through the ODD e-book together and are very excited about implementing it. Because as you say, we have been doing the same thing expecting different results mainly because we had no idea what else to do. So we are very committed to trying this...

My daughter has been diagnosed with OCD/OCPD and potentially bipolar disorder, but that last diagnosis is not confirmed yet...right now she is unable to go to school - anxiety and panic attack when the morning comes. We are extremely hesitant to go the home-school route, because of the probability of the anxiety transferring to another area --especially if she has not developed the skills to tackle it when she experiences the anxiety/panic. I saw on your website the concept of getting her to have going back to school become her idea...any magical ways of getting that to happen??? Her father and I are at the end of our creative strategies rope (her father is a clinical psychologist and also has OCD)...words of wisdom? Hopefully, M.P. ____________________ Hi M., You've raised a lot of issues here. Each one should be addressed in detail. But given the constraints of time, I'll briefly touch on each one. Let's first identify the individual issues: 1. OCD 2. Possibly bipola...

Question:  I have a 14 year old son, and we always seem to be angry with each other. I try to be patient, but whatever I do seems to annoy him and vice versa. My husband takes a different approach than me, and this also causes conflict between us as he lets our son get away with bad behaviour by ignoring it. If our son is rude to me, he doesn't say anything, he just says that I should deal with it. What can I do? Click here for my response...

"This morning I've discovered that our situation with our granddaughter is more troubled than my original thought of disrespect and disobedience….Lying has increased to almost a way of daily life for her. I discovered a flask containing alcohol under her mattress and a notebook with entries outlining making out with boys, sneaking out, smoking and the fact that she hates my husband and myself. She is nearly 14 and has lived with us for the past 8 years. Her parents divorced before she was a year with her Dad as custodian care taker. Once he remarried there was real trouble with step mother and step sisters. At age 5, she lived with her Mom & step-dad til she came to us at age 6…her mother is not in a position morally or financially to have her with her so we made the commitment to raise her. She has strong feelings of rejection from both parents which is only natural. She struggles with keeping more than one friend at a time. My question is that upon discovering ...

Hello Mark, I know I have not been very diligent in corresponding. I will tell you ever since I made the statement to my son, "As a parent, I know I've made some mistakes in my parenting decisions. And I realize, as a parent, I have an obligation to you to make some changes." With that, I included: "...although I don't know what those changes are, completely, I can tell you that as they come up I will discuss them openly with you and we can come to agreements together, something we both can live with." I've completely stepped back from 'hounding' him about grades and his bedroom...both of which he has taken responsibility, for that I am so grateful! I said to him that I can't do it for him when it comes to school and that he is solely responsible for whether he wants to successfully graduate high school and move on to college. That said, it's been hard to take this back seat, but it's paying off and he's becomin...

I have a 15-year-old who is driving me crazy. He talks back. He is always fussing on the phone with his girlfriend. Its his way or no way, and I am going out of my mind. I sometimes wish he was at boarding school. My nerves are out of control. What will your program teach me, and why should I buy it? ________________________ Hi P., >>>>>>>>>> Why should you join my program? Because I have the best offer on the internet. If you don't believe me, try to find a better deal -- you won't! My website is ranked #1 in MSN and #2 in Yahoo for parenting out-of-control kids. When you download "My ODD Child" eBook, you will automatically become a member of Online Parent Support. As a member you will have access to the following: 1) Your online parent coach - me 2) The online version of "My ODD Child" eBook 3) The printable version of "My ODD Child" eBook 4) Over 3 hours of audio from the ODD seminar 5) 7 Power P...

Question: Do you have a tried and true discipline for a teenage daughter who is caught smoking? Answer: Sorry. You're not going to like my advice, but here goes: You will not be able to stop her from smoking. Pick your battles carefully - and this is not a battle you should fight. In fact, the more you worry about it or lecture her, the more she will smoke! In fact, she will enjoy turning this into a game (i.e., I'll play "sneaking a smoke without mom knowing"). But you can stop her from smoking on YOUR property. Here's what you can say to your daughter: "I can't keep you from damaging your health by smoking. But it's your health - not mine! However, I don't want you smoking in my house or anywhere on my property. If you choose to smoke on my property, you'll choose the consequence, which is grounding for 3 days without privileges (e.g., use of phone, T.V., computer, etc.)." If your daughter smokes on the ...

What if you haven't been the greatest role model for your kid in the past and are just starting out to become one? What can I do to help my kid not follow in my footsteps??! ______________________ Hi M., Simply think about what you say and how you act in front of your child. Your child learns social skills and how to deal with stress by listening to and watching you. Do not take part in illegal, unhealthy, or dangerous practices related to alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs or he may believe that, no matter what you say, these practices are OK. Perhaps most importantly, know that you are a good mother in spite of some bad choices you may have made in the past. The past is NOT the present, and no one should be held hostage by their past. Mark

My son is ADHD, but I don't like the idea of him being on strong medication for it. Is there any natural way to treat ADHD? _____________________ Hi A., There are many natural treatments for ADHD, but few of them have ever been compared to a placebo, so it is hard to know if they really work. The only natural treatments worth considering for ADHD are those based on increasing certain fatty acids in the brain. There are abnormalities in these fatty acids in the brains of people who have ADHD. Omega-3 fatty acids may work best. Sources of Omega-3 are fish, flax seed oil, and some greens. Of these three, fish oils may work best and are worth trying -- not because they work so well -- but because they have few side effects. But there's no hard evidence that they work at all. Sorry I don't have better news for you, Mark