ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Hi Mark, I have to first of all let you know how much I'm blown away at not just what you do, but also because you are so attainable. To be able to E-mail you for help is one thing, but to be able to call you (I do better talking then e-mail about such important things from my heart) is so special, you are my hero , truly!! I have, as a child, been through hell living in the south and west side of Chicago , just me and my mom, no brothers, sisters, or father. My mom is only 17 yrs older then me, and she was an alcoholic. I took care of her as a child ...lived in constant fear, by the grace of God I survived. The thing is I see now all that Hell was a blessing, a sort of a necessary conditioning to be able to relate to the kids that come into my life, because they know I've been there, and because of that, they allow me in -- and I really listen. That was the purpose, I had to walk that road. The reason I'm telling you this is so you really understand ...

>>>>>>>>> Hi T. I’ve commented below.   Mark, I think our 16 year old daughter is still playing mom and dad against each other when it comes to getting what she wants. C___ is still living with her dad. I have read your parenting strategies, and being her mother, I’ve been enacting the rules as best I can from a distance and I should say that I have seen some improvements in her. It’s difficult because I work 2 jobs, but I’ve managed to have dinner with her once a week, tell her I love her every night, encourage her by saying things like how I think she’s showing responsibility by doing her homework or how proud I am of her for this or that - for not lying today, for not skipping school, etc.   >>>>>>>>> This is so terribly important. This is a great of example of “catching your child in the act of NOT doing something wrong.” Most parents overlook this important ingredient to successful assertive-parenting. ...

How do you deal with a kid that has been diagnosed with depression, they come home from school, something is clearly bothering them, they won't tell you what is going on, but then they are disrespectful and ugly to the parents. You know as parents that something else is going on, but at the same time can't allow complete disrespect. ``````````````````````````````````````` I would tell him/her exactly what you just wrote in this email: "I know something is bothering you, and I know you don't want to talk about it. That's O.K. ...I still love you, but I can't allow you to _______________ [here describe exactly what his/her disrespect looks like to you] without any consequences." ...then simply use "The Art of Saying Yes" ..."The Art of Saying No" ...and the strategy "When You Want Something From Your Kid" ...all of which are outlined in the eBook. Mark www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

Hello. I have read some of the other e-mails from other parents going through similar problems that I am having with my daughter. I have to say it has helped me (along with this book) to cope a little more. Just to know that I am not alone and there is hope. My story with my daughter began 5 days after I turned 19. I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. I was not married and obviously she was not a planned pregnancy. Her dad and I were "together" but I wouldn't say it was what you'd call the ideal family. I was attending college and living with my sister. She was very helpful and her dad and I didn't get along very well so this was the best situation for her and I. Like I said I was 19, a little selfish and very busy! I was going to school about 3/4 time and working nights as a waitress. When my daughter was old enough for preschool, I took a co-op job and continued with school. I finally (after 8 years in school) received my bachelor's deg...

Mark, Today is the last (4th) day of M___'s discipline. >>>>>>>> 3 days works best. No going out, no cell phone, no computer, only 15 minutes of supervised "land line" phone. He had Lacrosse practice after school today. >>>>>>>> Is lacrosse a right or a privilege? I think it could go either way. It could be viewed as ‘part of school’ …but at the same time, it really is a privilege (I’m sure the coach would agree). Thus, you could warn him that the next time he abuses “lacrosse privileges” by staying longer at school for additional extracurricular activities that were not part of the original agenda – he will be grounded FROM lacrosse (no more than 3 days though). He did call and inform me (from a friend's phone by the way) the team was to look at "game tapes" (they have never done this before) after practice today and then he would stay at school to watch the "powder puff" girls footba...

[Re: Parent Support] "I'm very pleased with the prospects ...been through many suggested techniques ...this set shows the most promise thus far! I'm very impressed with Mark and how he makes himself & resources available." -- T.J.

How does going through the program change things as far as grades go? Your website mentioned how grade should improve by using this program. This is a particular issue in our house at this time because it is almost the end of another year with our daughter not applying herself to school. She is more than capable, but just doesn’t seem to try. She’ll constantly promise to do better, but it always turns out to be the same old same old. Obviously we have done the lecturing (“bitching”) thing in the past, but it does no good. And obviously when the bad grades come in we can’t just use the poker face and say “Oh” and act like it doesn’t matter. So how do we respond to the bad grades without appearing to lecture? ```````````````````` I guess you haven't gotten to the "Emails From Worried & Exasperated Parents" page yet ...located here ==> Click Here Look for the email from the parent that reads: "My son brings home straight F's on his report cards. I gro...

Hi S. I’ve responded where you see these arrows: >>>>>>>>>>>>> Mr. Hutten, Thank you for the excellent advice for assertive parenting. I like to think I employ a few of these techniques already, but definitely see room for improvement. I have attempted to create an account so that I can join in chatroom discussions, but after entering the information and clicking "save", nothing happens. Any suggestions? >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Just click on Sign Up …then type your email address, password x2, and a display name. If this doesn’t work for some reason, you can just click on “Chat Anonymously.” Also, I have a question with regard to our 16 yr old. We have 4 boys ...two 10 yr olds, a 13 yr old, and a 16 yr old. So far, the younger ones have proven to be a piece of cake. The 16 yr old, however, has been a real challenge this year. He was hanging out with the wrong crowd and skipping...

Mark, I'm trying to implement the strategies in the eBook, but am getting NO support from my husband as he thinks my son should listen to him -- HAS to listen to him -- and I should severely punish him. I really have no one else to turn to at this point, and need some guidance. ````````````` In those cases where the husband basically refuses to read any of the eBook and simply wants to keep parenting the way he always has, I would recommend doing what one creative member of Online Parent Support did. She played the audio version of the eBook (on CD) in the car whenever she and her resistant husband drove somewhere together. He was a captive audience and either had to wear ear plugs or listen to the material (he reluctantly choose to listen). Sneaky, huh? Did he immediately "jump on board"? No. But after listening to the CDs several times in the car alongside his wife, he did begin to adopt some of the really important ingredients that ultimately made mom's job much m...

{Email from brand new member of Online Parent Support:} Mark, Honestly my situation is in a hopeless state right now. I have 2 girls, E___, age 15, 10th grade and L___, age 15, 9th grade. I have full custody of E___ and she has lived with me for about 14 years. L___ is my stepdaughter from a 2-1/2 year marriage to my wife S___. E___ sees her real mom, D___, each week on Thurs and every other weekend. The relationship is currently good between D___ and S___ and myself. We try to work together for E___ as best we can. I've always had issues with controlling E___'s attitude, anger and hostility towards me. I think I've tried every form of punishment known to man to no avail. One example of an episode occurred last night. I asked E___ to be off the computer by a certain time and gave her 10 min to do it. That time elapsed and she was still on. I went and asked again for her to get off and she huffed and said sternly, "OK, OK." I stood there waiting and noticed this w...

Hello Mark, I want to thank you for your program. It has been very helpful. I work as Parent-Child Advocate in a Crisis Center here in _____, Texas and I am a new mother of a 10-month-old little girl. Your book covers a multitude of topics and I trust that by putting the concepts into practice we will see significant improvements. Do you have any special suggestions for single moms who have been victims of domestic violence with 7 or more children who are also victims of domestic violence and are all very angry and out of control? It is difficult for the moms to give each child individual attention, and they many times resort to "blanketed punishments" that also punish the children who are not acting out at the time... the child who acts up the most ends up getting the attention, and even if the mom tries to actively ignore the child(ren) who are acting out and continue paying attention to those who are not, the child's behavior escalates to the point of disruptin...

My daughter has been on home detention/ISP for one month now and is going to continue for another/she was doing fairly well and cooperating, but now i think reality is setting in that she needs to drop old friends and will not be allowed back to school unless she passes the online charter school classes to the 9th grade-she has flunked 8th because of truancy and running away and got into a fight using a folding knife to pack her fist, it scratched the girl on the head. We live 16 miles out of town so she is very secluded and coming around back to her old self (i have been using your book also, and it really works!) However i think we're moving into a depression issue over non-socialization out here …and her and i being together all the time, working on homework, chores, playing some games, exercising outdoors. What could i look into out there, we do not belong to any church anymore as all the goody goodys and bullys seem to be there and the adults were only interested in bui...